Category: Fitness Club

A Dumbass Sign of Dumbass Times

Long time readers of Dumbass News know exactly how I feel about Cal-ee-forn-ya. Beautiful place run by dumbass moonbats. Now before I go any further, I want to say upfront that I am not familiar at all with ordinances concerning signage in any given location. What I am about to write is what I think should be the deal regarding billboards, business signs and electronic sign displays where ever there are such signs. When it comes to business signs, with very few exceptions, and using common sense, which is a rare commodity for state or local politicos anywhere, Gubmint should stay the hell out of a business’ business. In other words, screw the local laws about this kind of thing, I am about to tell you the way things ought to be concerning signs in any city in the USA, say like Irvine, Cal-ee-forn-ya for example.

Fitness Club Poster. Offensive?***

Why Irvine?

I chose Irvine over other cities from around the country for a few reasons. First, it’s in Cal-ee-forn-ya. Second, Cal-ee-forn-ya is the Fwance of the United States. And I don’t mean that as a compliment. Third, I like tweaking the Fwench and Cal-ee-forn-yuns. Two birds. One stone. OK. OK. OK. Let me jump in right  here to say that not all Fwench people and residents of the Golden State are gazebo-less pussies, but the great majority of them are. However, both places have a goodly population of Dumbasses like you and me, but sadly not enough of them to make a helluva lot of difference. Therefore, this post is aimed squarely at the more, shall we say “progressive” citizens of the two locales. No, we shall not say “progressive”, we shall say rainbow-flag-waving-kill-the-unborn-I-can-run-your-life-better-than-you-can-tax-the-rich-even-though-a-poor-guy-never-created-a-job-Liberals who have the majority in Cal-ee-forn-ya and Fwance.

A Sign of the Times

This post is built around what an obvious pencil penis Cal-ee-forn-yun, but I repeat myself, has to say about a sign at an Irvine fitness center. Let me splain.

Pencil Penis is a member of a health club in I-town that was recently bought out by another company. When the new people took over the spa, they put up some new signs around the place that portrayed the image the company wants to be known for. The new owners want to project an image of healthy being sexy so they put up some signs that featured some “healthy” young ladies. These posters upset good ole Pencil Penis. He says that the displays “objectify” women. What. The. Hell? We are talking bout a fitness joint aren’t we? Does PP expect the club to have posters of large women (or men) plastered all over the place? Nothing says “health club” like a poster of a woman who screams “triple baconator”! I could understand if the club put up before and after signs of some of its clients, but that requires that one half of the signage on display be of the “healthy” young lady (or man) variety. But slappin’ a shit load of fat folks on the walls of the fitness center wouldn’t exactly fill me with confidence that this business could help me get into a healthy lifestyle. If only the ‘”fat” signs were up, I’d immediately think that the new owners have a major stake in the Burger King across the street. But that’s just me.

Gubmint to the Rescue!

Pencil Penis and some other patrons of the club complained to the City of Irvine about the signs and quick as a hiccup the City jumped all over this stuff. An Irvine City Spokescal-ee-forn-yun said, “The city received complaints that the signage is offensive; we issued a code enforcement notice for the sign to be removed.(by Jan. 19 because) it is a non-permitted sign visible from the exterior of the building that is not part of an approved sign program.”An “approved” sign program. Approved by whom? The moonbats who run the City? Liberals R Us? The Homo Nation? God?

The article I read said nothing of nudity or explicitly sexual content (other than the hot babes themselves), so what’s offensive about that? I personally find no offense in looking at the poster of a young bimbo built like a brick shit house in a bikini urging me to be healthy.  I always thought that being healthy was supposed to make one feel beautiful and proud of the hard work it took/takes to be built like Katy Perry or The Rock. And I can state categorically that the picture of a woman built like Roseanne Barr (or man built like Ed Asner, depending on your perspective) does not in any way entice me to wanna join this spa. Go buy some Pepto Bismol? Sure. Join this fitness club? Not so much.

That Word Again

The rainbow-flag-waving-kill-the-unborn-I-can-run-your-life-better-than-you-can-tax-the-rich-even-though-a-poor-guy-never-created-a-job-Liberal, I call Pencil Penis is really named Angelo Paparelli. Get this. Angelo is a 20 year old guy who is squealing like a bitch over signs at a fitness club that show some good lookin’ chicks! I’m thinkin’ that Angie Boy has deeper issues to deal with than whining about these posters of some female hotties, IYKWIMAITYD.

Angelo, it seems to me that you have other options than to remain a member of this club. Finding another place to work out comes to mind. You know… a place that displays posters of Ricky Martin or that openly gay guy on the Bravo Network. Carson Somethingoranother. (I think). That ought to be right “up your alley”, so to speak.Your other choice is for you and your good lookin’ chick hatin’ buddies to just shut the fuck up and work out where you are members right now. It’s that easy. Trust me on this one, Ang. The market place will determine whether or not posters of hot women (or men) are a beneficial or detrimental to this business.

There ya go, Angie. The choice is all yours. Take your prick pick.

Dumbass.

***Courtesy ocregister.com***

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Dumbassery at a High Level – Except in Green Bay & The Big Easy

Not Anymore. Dammit.

The week that we are ending today has been a memorable one.

It all started for me during the National Football League Playoffs last Sunday. Needless to say, from my perspective, starting about 4PM EST, things sucked from that moment on. A little while after four, the Divisional Playoff game between the San Francisco Ballerinas and Nawlins Saints. The Pansies won and the Coon Asses headed back to the Big Easy. Dammit. Things did not get any better from there for me.

My favorite NFL team of over 50 years, the Green Bay Packers, were next to make me wanna barf when they lost to the New York Mannings. In Green Bay no less! What.The.Hell. I remain in shock. How could the defending Super Bowl Champs lose to a team that squeaked into the playoffs beat creaming the Dallas Rhinestone Cowboys in the last game of the regular season! I mean for Vince Lombardi’s sake, the Pack was 15 – 1 during the regular season and the Mannings finished at 9 – 7 by virtue of their win over Dallas. That’s SIX game spread! In lieu of this upset, I am still boycotting all cheese from Wisconsin. Until I make a double decker Toby Burger later today, protest be damned!

To top off the whole disastrous week, my wife and/or one or both of my little girls have been sick all week. Actually this is about the third week that Heather and Issy have been on again off again ill. Heather and Issy Woo Woo are still under the weather. Whatever it is that’s kickin’ their asses will not go the hell away! Now I wear the “I’m Next to Contract the Super Crud” bull’s eye on my back. Oh, the joy! Dammit. Again.

Even though this week sucked swamp donkey gazebos for my family and me (and my beloved Packers), the dumbassery we displayed in our posts was at a very high level, with each day presenting a tough act to follow for the next day’s story. It wasn’t easy, but through hard work, determination and cheating, we did it.

  • On Monday, we paid tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Also on Monday, I had a dream! A dream of eliminating terrorists in a most unusual way. Penis cancer!
  • I have posted several stories about dwarf tossing on Dumbass News, but the one we had up on Tuesday had a bit of a twist to it. Ambush Dwarf Tossing!
  • Some weenie at a fitness club in Cal-ee-forn-ya was mortified, mortified, I tell you at posters in the club that featured young, pretty fit women in minimal clothing. BTW…his name is “Twinkletoes”, IYKWIMAITYD.

That’s an All Pro lineup of Dumbassery if I’ve ever seen one. Of course I said the same thing about the Green Bay Packers and the Nawlins Saints last Sunday and look how that worked out. Both teams got their asses handed to them by inferior teams. On any given Sunday, I suppose. Dammit.

Dumbasses.

Dumbass Signs of the Times

Fitness Club Poster. Offensive?***

Long time readers of Dumbass News know exactly how I feel about Cal-ee-forn-ya. Beautiful place run by dumbass moonbats. Now before I go any further, I want to say upfront that I am not familiar at all with ordinances concerning signage in any given location. What I am about to write is what I think should be the deal regarding billboards, business signs and electronic sign displays where ever there are such signs. When it comes to business signs, with very few exceptions, and using common sense, which is a rare commodity for state or local politicos anywhere, Gubmint should stay the hell out of a business’ business. In other words, screw the local laws about this kind of thing, I am about to tell you the way things ought to be concerning signs in any city in the USA, say like Irvine, Cal-ee-forn-ya for example.

Why Irvine?

I chose Irvine over other cities from around the country for a few reasons. First, it’s in Cal-ee-forn-ya. Second, Cal-ee-forn-ya is the Fwance of the United States. And I don’t mean that as a compliment. Third, I like tweaking the Fwench and Cal-ee-forn-yuns. Two birds. One stone. OK. OK. OK. Let me jump in right  here to say that not all Fwench people and residents of the Golden State are gazebo-less pussies, but the great majority of them are. However, both places have a goodly population of Dumbasses like you and me, but sadly not enough of them to make a helluva lot of difference. Therefore, this post is aimed squarely at the more, shall we say “progressive” citizens of the two locales. No, we shall not say “progressive”, we shall say rainbow-flag-waving-kill-the-unborn-I-can-run-your-life-better-than-you-can-tax-the-rich-even-though-a-poor-guy-never-created-a-job-Liberals who have the majority in Cal-ee-forn-ya and Fwance.

A Sign of the Times

This post is built around what an obvious pencil penis Cal-ee-forn-yun, but I repeat myself, has to say about a sign at an Irvine fitness center. Let me splain.

Pencil Penis is a member of a health club in I-town that was recently bought out by another company. When the new people took over the spa, they put up some new signs around the place that portrayed the image the company wants to be known for. The new owners want to project an image of healthy being sexy so they put up some signs that featured some “healthy” young ladies. These posters upset good ole Pencil Penis. He says that the displays “objectify” women. What. The. Hell? We are talking bout a fitness joint aren’t we? Does PP expect the club to have posters of large women (or men) plastered all over the place? Nothing says “health club” like a poster of a woman who screams “triple baconator”! I could understand if the club put up before and after signs of some of its clients, but that requires that one half of the signage on display be of the “healthy” young lady (or man) variety. But slappin’ a shit load of fat folks on the walls of the fitness center wouldn’t exactly fill me with confidence that this business could help me get into a healthy lifestyle. If only the ‘”fat” signs were up, I’d immediately think that the new owners have a major stake in the Burger King across the street. But that’s just me.

Gubmint to the Rescue!

Pencil Penis and some other patrons of the club complained to the City of Irvine about the signs and quick as a hiccup the City jumped all over this stuff. An Irvine City Spokescal-ee-forn-yun said, “The city received complaints that the signage is offensive; we issued a code enforcement notice for the sign to be removed.(by Jan. 19 because) it is a non-permitted sign visible from the exterior of the building that is not part of an approved sign program.”An “approved” sign program. Approved by whom? The moonbats who run the City? Liberals R Us? The Homo Nation? God?

The article I read said nothing of nudity or explicitly sexual content (other than the hot babes themselves), so what’s offensive about that? I personally find no offense in looking at the poster of a young bimbo built like a brick shit house in a bikini urging me to be healthy.  I always thought that being healthy was supposed to make one feel beautiful and proud of the hard work it took/takes to be built like Katy Perry or The Rock. And I can state categorically that the picture of a woman built like Roseanne Barr (or man built like Ed Asner, depending on your perspective) does not in any way entice me to wanna join this spa. Go buy some Pepto Bismol? Sure. Join this fitness club? Not so much.

That Word Again

The rainbow-flag-waving-kill-the-unborn-I-can-run-your-life-better-than-you-can-tax-the-rich-even-though-a-poor-guy-never-created-a-job-Liberal, I call Pencil Penis is really named Angelo Paparelli. Get this. Angelo is a 20 year old guy who is squealing like a bitch over signs at a fitness club that show some good lookin’ chicks! I’m thinkin’ that Angie Boy has deeper issues to deal with than whining about these posters of some female hotties, IYKWIMAITYD.

Angelo, it seems to me that you have other options than to remain a member of this club. Finding another place to work out comes to mind. You know… a place that displays posters of Ricky Martin or that openly gay guy on the Bravo Network. Carson Somethingoranother. (I think). That ought to be right “up your alley”, so to speak.Your other choice is for you and your good lookin’ chick hatin’ buddies to just shut the fuck up and work out where you are members right now. It’s that easy. Trust me on this one, Ang. The market place will determine whether or not posters of hot women (or men) are a beneficial or detrimental to this business.

There ya go, Angie. The choice is all yours. Take your prick pick.

Dumbass.

***Courtesy ocregister.com***