Wooooohooooo! Another Dumbass on a Bulldozer story!
Just in case you missed the first Dumbass on a Bulldozer story, it was a humdinger! It’s the tale of a Dumbass driving a bulldozer while drunk!
Now that you have been regaled with that story, let’s move on to today’s Dumbass News.
|The Choice of Dumbasses Everywhere|
The Relationship Between Dumbasses & Bulldozers
Why is it that Dumbasses have forged such a bond with bulldozers? Is there something about earth-moving equipment that calls to Dumbasses in a paranormal kind of way? “Come to me! You belong with me. Let’s commit felonies together!”, the bulldozer plaintively calls.
Is that it? Why the attraction?
It’s because we are dealing with the shallow end of the gene pool here, i.e., Dumbasses! What the hell did you think it was, Dumbass? I ain’t Dr. Phil here, trying to dig deep into the psyche of Dumbasses. I know Dumbasses! I am one of them! Their Fearless Leader. Without the bulldozer fetish.
But, I digress.
Picking Up His Car
Donald Smith II of Bear, Delaware had taken his pick up truck to a auto repair shop in New Castle to have some shit done to it and had planned to pick it up when the work was completed. Problem is that Donald did not have the cash flow to pay the repairman for services rendered. Therefore, and rightly so, the mechanic held on the Don’s truck until the bill was paid.
Donald couldn’t wait that long.
So he somehow commandeered a front end loader and went straight to the repair shop to get his truck. Without permission. Late at night. On the bulldozer.
Donald then hoisted his truck up in the air with the bucket of the front end loader! It may be just me, but the sight of a pick up truck in the bucket of a front end loader is not a normal thing. Even in Bear, Delaware.
Anyway, the shop owner saw all this going on and he called the cops, whom Donald Smith II led on a half-hour low speed chase down a highway then through a neighborhood and a cornfield. The Fuzz apprehended Donald when he drove the bulldozer, truck and all, into a retaining pond.
Donald was arrested and charged with all kinds of good stuff that should lead to at least a short stay in a Delaware Prison.
All of this unnecessary trouble when simply paying the repair bill or even working out a payment arrangement with the shop owner would have been the easiest way to take care of bidness.
But, the hypnotic call of the bulldozer was too much for Donald Smith II.