Category: Guy On Fire

Dumbass In "Adult Superstore" Has a Hot Time

Smut Superstore

They say that the Lord works in mysterious ways and considering how my life has changed over the last 6 1/2 years, I am a firm Believer in that axiom. I guess many people like me have had such an epiphany at some point in their lives, so I am not alone. For example, there’s a guy in San Francisco that recently had an epiphany through by fire…literally. Just remember that when I call this guy a dumbass, it’s because of his actions, not his injuries.

Some dumbass in the City By the Bay was in an “adult superstore” a short while back when something most unusual happened while he was watching some Beat Me, Whip Me Award winning porn when he caught on fire! Police aren’t sure how the man became a Richard Pryor wannabe, so let’s check with Aol News for a further background on this story.

“For seven years, Roger Huang

, a pastor who runs a rescue mission

 in San Francisco’s Tenderloin district, has been trying to shut down the sex shops there. Could this bizarre incident be attributed to a higher power?”I believe so. I definitely believe so, “The pastor went on to tell Aol News that he hopes the man recovers from his injuries which include 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 90% of his body.

I feel sorry for the porn-watching guy, too. To burst into flames for whatever reason is a horrible thing and I, too, hope he has a full and speedy recovery. But, watching porn in a sleazy “adult superstore” is no way to go through life. Go back to your sleazy apartment, load up the crack pipe (no Richard Pryor imitations either!) and watch Beat Me, Whip Me Porn with your pet cockroaches. That’s how porn should be watched. I do, however, have a feeling that this guy has sworn off porn for a while, considering his unfortunate circumstances. I am also pretty certain that the Lord did not set this dumbass on fire, but after what the dude’s been through, a come to Jesus meeting might not be such a bad idea.