Category: Happy Meals

McDonalds – No Insurance, Lousy Benefits Turn McD Wimmin into Hookers!

Just what do some Dumbasses have against McDonalds? I can’t figger it out myself. Mcd’s offers some of the best tasteless food in the world. Every once in a while I love to scarf down a Big Mac or Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Or both. My kids loves the nastiness that is a Happy Meal. They also love the lead paint covered cheap ass toys that come with the Happy meal. I don’t mean to get all mushy here, but I have been eating at McDonalds since their hamburgers cost something like 19 cents. I remember when the signs at Mickey D’s read “Over 2 Sold”! I ask these questions for a very good reasons, which I will go into in a just a minute.

Dumbass News has featured dumbass-inspired stories about McDonalds on more than one occasion. For example, here and here. It pains me to say it, but neither of these Dumbass stories has as serious implications as the one you are about to read.

McWhore

There’s a lady, and I use that term loosely, in Las Vegas who has filed a lawsuit against the fast food giant

You Want Me to Do What?

because, as she states in the suit, it is because of the minimum wage salary she was paid at McD’s that she became a prostitute! yes, fellow Dumbasses, I am sad to report that low pay and lack of a good benefits package at the Home of the Quarter Pounder, that has driven women like Shelley Lynn to become skanky sluts. Shame on you Ronald McDonald!

You see, Shelley once worked at a McDonalds owned at the time by her then-husband. As it turns out, there other would-be skanky sluts working there too. And it’s all because of the lousy pay and benefit packages at the Golden Arches. Being the visionary entrepreneur that he was, Shelley’s husband found a way to increase business at his restaurant. A good marketing campaign maybe? Kind of. He started pimping out his female employees! These women were listed on the store menu as the “Furry McTacos”. But I digress.

You wanna know why these whores felt it necessary to sell their McWares? If you guessed the lousy pay ans bennies from their employer, you would be right! These women were not making enough money to support themselves or their families, so they got a second job selling their “McHappy Meals”, if you know what I mean and I think you do. They are inspirations to young sluts everywhere. Did I mention that all this bullshit in Shelley’s lawsuit took place more than twenty years ago? Since then Shelley has been employed by brothels in the Las Vegas area screwing horny dumbasses for what I imagine would be very good money.

What?

Over twenty years ago! That must be some kind of mental duress! It’s also a Top Tier Dumbass Thing to Do. Shelley, we know that were peddling your McMuffin while you worked at McDonalds, now you sell it for thousands of times more money. Only the price has changed. You were twenty years ago and still are today, shit stain on the underwear of society. As for your now ex-husband, the best part of him ran down his mother’s leg.

Look. I know that what Shelley is doing now is perfectly legal in Nevada and I have no qualms about that. It’s the “I am still a victim” mindset that pisses me off. let me tell you, Shelley, if you were ashamed to sell your “woman hood” back then, then why continue to be a Godless Hooker all this time later? Do you have a bad coke habit? Owe the Mob money? Like to fuck a lot? Yeah, you are a “victim” OK. Stoopid cum funnel.

Once this suit goes in front of a judge, Comedy Gold should be at a Three Stooges Level of brilliance. If any of you in the Vegas area have any more on this story now or later, please email it to me at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com. If you do, I’ll make you the next Dumbass Emeritus, second line only to WTFWiFi founder  Alexandra Janelli, an Honor you’ll cherish for life.


Adios to Shelley

Shelley, keep on selling what you sell, because one day it will as rancid as the maggots on a five year old Big Mac. I was gonna get real graphic here but I decided that even a low life no morals, weenie sucking, skanky swamp donkey whore like Shelley deserves some form of respect. 🙂

But not a day in Court with this kind of shit.

Dumbass.

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Low Pay, Lousy Benefits at McDonalds Turns Woman into McSlut

You Want Me to Do What?

Just what do some Dumbasses have against McDonalds? I can’t figger it out myself. Mcd’s offers some of the best tasteless food in the world. Every once in a while I love to scarf down a Big Mac or Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Or both. My kids loves the nastiness that is a Happy Meal. They also love the lead paint covered cheap ass toys that come with the Happy meal. I don’t mean to get all mushy here, but I have been eating at McDonalds since their hamburgers cost something like 19 cents. I remember when the signs at Mickey D’s read “Over 2 Sold”! I ask these questions for a very good reasons, which I will go into in a just a minute.

Dumbass News has featured dumbass-inspired stories about McDonalds on more than one occasion. For example, here and here. It pains me to say it, but neither of these Dumbass stories has as serious implications as the one you are about to read.

McWhore

There’s a lady, and I use that term loosely, in Las Vegas who has filed a lawsuit against the fast food giant because, as she states in the suit, it is because of the minimum wage salary she was paid at McD’s that she became a prostitute! yes, fellow Dumbasses, I am sad to report that low pay and lack of a good benefits package at the Home of the Quarter Pounder, that has driven women like Shelley Lynn to become skanky sluts. Shame on you Ronald McDonald!

You see, Shelley once worked at a McDonalds owned at the time by her then-husband. As it turns out, there other would-be skanky sluts working there too. And it’s all because of the lousy pay and benefit packages at the Golden Arches. Being the visionary entrepreneur that he was, Shelley’s husband found a way to increase business at his restaurant. A good marketing campaign maybe? Kind of. He started pimping out his female employees! These women were listed on the store menu as the “Furry McTacos”. But I digress.

You wanna know why these whores felt it necessary to sell their McWares? If you guessed the lousy pay ans bennies from their employer, you would be right! These women were not making enough money to support themselves or their families, so they got a second job selling their “McHappy Meals”, if you know what I mean and I think you do. They are inspirations to young sluts everywhere. Did I mention that all this bullshit in Shelley’s lawsuit took place more than twenty years ago? Since then Shelley has been employed by brothels in the Las Vegas area screwing horny dumbasses for what I imagine would be very good money.

What?

Over twenty years ago! That must be some kind of mental duress! It’s also a Top Tier Dumbass Thing to Do. Shelley, we know that were peddling your McMuffin while you worked at McDonalds, now you sell it for thousands of times more money. Only the price has changed. You were twenty years ago and still are today, shit stain on the underwear of society. As for your now ex-husband, the best part of him ran down his mother’s leg.

Look. I know that what Shelley is doing now is perfectly legal in Nevada and I have no qualms about that. It’s the “I am still a victim” mindset that pisses me off. let me tell you, Shelley, if you were ashamed to sell your “woman hood” back then, then why continue to be a Godless Hooker all this time later? Do you have a bad coke habit? Owe the Mob money? Like to fuck a lot? Yeah, you are a “victim” OK. Stoopid cum funnel.

Once this suit goes in front of a judge, Comedy Gold should be at a Three Stooges Level of brilliance. If any of you in the Vegas area have any more on this story now or later, please email it to me at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com. If you do, I’ll make you the next Dumbass Emeritus, second line only to WTFWiFi founder  Alexandra Janelli, an Honor you’ll cherish for life.


Adios to Shelley

Shelley, keep on selling what you sell, because one day it will as rancid as the maggots on a five year old Big Mac. I was gonna get real graphic here but I decided that even a low life no morals, weenie sucking, skanky swamp donkey whore like Shelley deserves some form of respect. 🙂

But not a day in Court with this kind of shit.

Dumbass.

San Francisco is Full of McDumbasses

I have been puzzled by something for many years now, and it continues to befuddle me to this very day. How in the name of all that is Holy could one of the most beautiful cities in the world be inhabited by some of the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe the air of this planet? A place where the Dumbass is so thick, you could cut it with a block of tofu. I am speaking , of course, of San Francisco. I have been to San Francisco just once and that was to be picked up at the airport, so I didn’t spend any time in the city. But my experience at the airport has scarred me for life. How so?, you ask. This is how so. I had just gotten off the plane and was headed to the Luggage Eater Turbo 5000 to get my suitcase, when one of those golf cart on steroids thingies trying break the sound barrier came zooming by me. The cart was manned by two Oriental guys. No problem…until the souped up golf cart thingy came to a stop and these two young Oriental guys started kissing! Right in the middle of the airport! I mean these two guys were playing some serious Tonsil Hockey. Having seen that, I went to the nearest airport bar and drank several beers to forget what I had just seen. Then I realized that there ain’t enough booze in San Fran to get me drunk enough to unsee that. What I saw can not be unseen! Don’t get me wrong. If these two guys wnated to do the Tonsil Hockey mambo, that’s fine with me. But please don’t do that shit in public! I am telling you this story to lay the groundwork for the main idea of this post: San Francisco is a fucked up city.

Here’s the deal: One of the questions on the recent election ballot in San Francisco was something like “Do you want to ban toys in Happy Meals in our fucked up city?”. What the fuck? You mean to tell me that the local government in San Fransissy has nothing more pressing on their fucked up city’s to do list than to ban toys in Happy Meals? Slap me down and call me Shorty. Has it really come to this, where the city government can ban a frakkin’ toy in a Happy Meal? If I’m Mc Donalds, I’m packing up my Quarter Pounder with Cheese and gettin’ the hell outta there. The reasoning behind this dumbass decision according to HotAir.com: Under the ban agreed in a preliminary vote Tuesday, restaurants in San Francisco would have to provide fruit and vegetables with meals accompanied by free toys, according to the San Francisco Chronicle…” Speaking of fruits…each year in San Frasissy, they hold an event called “Folsom Street Fair”. Sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? Folsom Street Fair is the furthest thing in the world from innocence. WARNING: What you are about to see is sickening. If you are easily offended, then DO NOT click the following link. Consider yourself warned and proceed at your own risk. Ban the toys in Happy Meals and let this stuff go on unimpeded! This is allowed. Toys in Happy Meals are not.
I’ll bet you a dollar that if McDonalds put a McDildo in their Happy Meals, there would be no complaint whatsoever. Dumbasses.

These are the same people that keep electing dumbasses like Nancy Pelosi to Congress over and over again. For one of the few times in my life, I am speechless. And nauseated. California is a beautiful place with much history and natural beauty. It’s this side (ban the toys and Folsom Street) of California, that people see and remember and that’s very sad to me. Maybe some day…..

Dumbasses.

**Photo from unionstreetinn.com**