Category: Hawaii

Family in Hawaii Discover Child’s Hand at Bird Sanctuary…Or Do They?

Have you seen the child this hand belongs to?

If you found a something on the beach that resembled the dried up hand of a small child, the first thing any rational person would do is to call 9-1-1. It’s the only right correct thing to do. End of story.

However, another thing comes to mind before making that 9-1-1 call.Making sure the “small child hand-looking thing” is indeed a human hand, not say, oh I don’t know, a dried up dead squid(!) or something. The family who discovered the object failed to do that when the “hand” was found on the beach near Honolulu. Dumbasses. They encouraged the dumbasses at the Goat Island Seabird Sanctuary to call the Hawaii Dept of Natural Resources and Conservation who responded post haste to this “emergency”.

After nearly 10 seconds of detailed observation, the DNR guys made they call and reported it with all due solemnity. It was a dead squid! Upon further reflection, two things come to mind. 1) The dumbasses at the Goat Island Bird thing need to stick to identifying birds and 2) the family who thought the dead squid was a child’s hand should be mercilessly berated and belittled for being so damn stoopid. On point number 2, I am only kidding. Instead of being mocked and humiliated, the family should all be forced into being spayed or neutered. The gene pool is shallow enough these days.

Dumbasses.

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