Category: Iceland

Icelandic Penis Museum!

I have been busier than a one-legged man in an ass kickin’ contest lately.

For the many new readers who found us through Twitter, allow me to get you up to speed.

My wife underwent surgery a couple of weeks ago and that means that I have been doing my normal stuff plus her normal stuff around the Dumbass Dome so she could recuperate. She’s much better now, BUT she has another surgery scheduled for tomorrow! That of course means that she will be down for the count for at least a few, probably several, days. Now that means that I will be doing all the stuff around the house that needs to be done plus taking care of our 5 and 10 year old daughters for another unknown number of fun-filled days! The most important thing is, however, Mrs. Fearless Leader’s full and complete return to good health, so as a loving father, husband and Fearless Leader, I shall happily and maybe even occasionally cheerfully hold the down the fort for as long as need be. Bottom line: I won’t be able to dedicate as much time to blogging as I normally would, which is as it should be.

It is my sincere hope that you’ll continue to stop by the place and enjoy some of Dumbass News‘ Greatest (Worst?) Hits.

Thank you for your support and good wishes. Y’all are the best!

Dumbasses. 🙂
Fearless Leader

Best of Dumbass News

Possibly NSFW! 

I don’t know exactly how to begin this post, except to say you’d better be sitting down when you read it. If you are at work and are prone to outbursts of violent laughter or any other orally-emitted sound effects that will cause people in cubicles to floors above you to ask, “What the hell was that?“, stifle yourself or read this in private, like in the toilet, where weird noises are perfectly acceptable. If you are of the male persuasion, be thankful your gazebos and plumbing are attached and in good working order. You have been properly cautioned.

Now…To the story!

Iceland, which is a lovely place if you like ice, is a wonderful country whose citizens like to collect penises. And put them on public display! I ain’t makin’ this shit up. I’m not that smart…or stoned. In the sleepy little fishing village of Husavik, which is Icelandic for the “Penis Collecting Dumbasses Who Put Ding-A-Lings on Public Display for Other Dumbasses to Pay to See”, the good people of said sleepy fishing village have

Be Sure To Leave a Tip

“stimulated” the economy by opening a Penis Museum! Yes, the (get this!) Icelandic Phallological Museum and its 208 penises are housed in that quaint little building in the photo. There, you’ll find the penises of damn near every sea and land mammal in Iceland – except the ding dong of a man. Until now. As the article from Aol News states, “a donor named Pall Arason donated his educational tool to the museum in an impressive show of support for the sciences.” What a guy! It’s a man who truly is an incredible dumbass loves his country who’ll donate his thingy for the good of science and the cock museum. The thing is (<—-pun intended) is that Arason is dead so he doesn’t need his weenie anymore, but it’s in death that he made his greatest contribution the penis-collecting segment of Icelandic society. And any man that donates his doohickey for the good of science is OK by me…even if he’s a dead dumbass. Just run that thought up your flagpole. Pall Arason, you are hero to the Icelandic Phallological Museum and dick savers everywhere and your generosity will stand the test of time. You’re a real ding dong dandy.

Dumbass.

Advertisements

A Drive Thru Guy Dumbass Coup?

I’ll Find You, Drive Thru Guy!

Dumbass News News: Yesterday’s guest post from Drive Thru Guy from lifeinthedrivethru was a smash hit with the Dumbass Horde! After such an explosive Dumbass Debut, I think DTG now has his sights set on becoming your next Fearless Leader! He’s drunk on power! Drunk, I tell you! It was such a big deal that I shall now have to have Drive Thru Guy tracked down like a wild animal (he IS Canadian, so I repeat myself) and summarily de-gazebo’ed on sight! I have placed a bounty of nearly $1.98 American on those gazebos and I will not sleep until they have been dispatched! Upon said de-gazebo-ing, I shall have his newly-removed huevos (a little Meskin lingo there) wrapped in frozen polar bear shit and sent to the Penis Museum in Iceland! I. Ain’t. Kiddin’. There really is a Dicks on Display Place in Iceland – just hit the link back  <—-there. I will not divulge DTG’s exact location, except to the De-Gazebo-ing Mercenaries, but I will say that he lives in an Eastern Canuckistani Province close enough to Iceland that it will exponentially simplify the gazebo-shipping process.

If you pass through Drive Thru Guys window, DO NOT attempt to de-gazebo him yourself. This is a job for well-trained de-gazebo-ers. I would feel responsible for any injuries you might incur while trying to knife DTG’s nutsack. He is armed with a Top Secret Drive Thru Headset© that has more concealed weapons than Saddam Hussein, and is considered to be dangerous! Moreover, if you push Drive Thru Guy too far, he will spit in your food! He is a vicious, evil, maniacal fiend bent on overthrowing your Peace Loving Benevolent Fearless Leader and hocking a loogie (or as he calls it, “Secret Sauce”) onto your fries!

The Truth

It is true that DTG’s guest post was a well received by the Dumbass Horde and I was glad to have DTG share his wisdom with the not only the Dumbass Horde, but with the rest of humanity. His insight into the horrors of dealing with hungry Dumbasses at the Drive Thru should be a reminder to us all that….that….uh…er….I don’t the fuck know! But it should remind us of something!

Super size THAT!

Dumbass.

Penii: Lesbians Need Us!

Rock Solid

NSFW! Or Kids! Not X Rated, but pretty naughty.

Every day I chronicle some act of dumbassery that takes place somewhere on Planet Earth. One of my personal favorites is the story of the Penis Museum in Iceland. While I can understand that Iceland, due to its location and long winters, would host such an exciting  venue as a penis museum, I am, as a rule, totally against the hoarding of penises at any one location. The world needs penises. What if Lesbians took over the Earth? What would they do for a penis? As far as I know, Lesbians do not have penises and pro-creation between Lesbos would be impossible. But! With one solitary penis, Lesbians could pro-create to their hearts’ desires, disposing of unwanted weenies as they saw fit. That would suck. There needs to be at least one man, and by extension (damn that’s funny) one penis, to enjoy the “adventures” of the Lesbians that rule the world and thus pro-create more slit lickers.

I must stand with penises everywhere in supporting the Lesbian agenda, but opposing the indiscriminate disposal of unwanted ding a lings.

That is the Official Position of Dumbass News as decreed by me, Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde.

Icelanders Are Lonely People

I don’t know exactly how to begin this post, except to say you’d better be sitting down when you read it. If you are at work and are prone to outbursts of violent laughter or any other orally-emitted sound effects that will cause people in cubicles two floors above you to ask, “What the hell was that?“, stifle yourself or read this in private, like in the toilet, where weird noises are perfectly acceptable. If you are of the male persuasion, be thankful your gazebos and plumbing are attached and in good working order. You have been properly cautioned. Now…To the story!

Iceland, which is a lovely place if you like ice, is a wonderful country whose citizens like to collect penises. And put them on public display! I ain’t makin’ this shit up. I’m not that smart…or stoned. In the sleepy little fishing village of Husavik, which is Icelandic for the “Penis Collecting Dumbasses Who Put Ding-A-Lings on Public Display for Other Dumbasses to Pay to See”, the good people of said sleepy fishing village have “stimulated” the economy by opening a Penis Museum! Yes, the (get this!) Icelandic Phallological Museum and its 208 penises are housed in that quaint little building in the photo. There, you’ll find the penises of damn near every sea and land mammal in Iceland – except the ding dong of a man. Until now. As the article from Aol News states, “a donor named Pall Arason donated his educational tool to the museum in an impressive show of support for the sciences.” What a guy! It’s a man who truly is an incredible dumbass loves his country who’ll donate his thingy for the good of science and the cock museum. The thing is  is that Arason is dead so he doesn’t need his weenie anymore, but it’s in death that he made his greatest contribution to the penis-collecting segment of Icelandic society. And any man that donates his doohickey for the good of science is OK by me…even if he’s a dead dumbass. Just run that thought up your flagpole. Pall Arason, you are a hero to the Icelandic Phallological Museum and dick savers everywhere and your generosity will stand the test of time. You’re a real ding dong dandy.

Dumbass.

The Iceland Penis Museum!

Be Sure To Leave a Tip

Possibly NSFW! I don’t know exactly how to begin this post, except to say you’d better be sitting down when you read it. If you are at work and are prone to outbursts of violent laughter or any other orally-emitted sound effects that will cause people in cubicles to floors above you to ask, “What the hell was that?“, stifle yourself or read this in private, like in the toilet, where weird noises are perfectly acceptable. If you are of the male persuasion, be thankful your gazebos and plumbing are attached and in good working order. You have been properly cautioned. Now…To the story!

Iceland, which is a lovely place if you like ice, is a wonderful country whose citizens like to collect penises. And put them on public display! I ain’t makin’ this shit up. I’m not that smart…or stoned. In the sleepy little fishing village of Husavik, which is Icelandic for the “Penis Collecting Dumbasses Who Put Ding-A-Lings on Public Display for Other Dumbasses to Pay to See”, the good people of said sleepy fishing village have “stimulated” the economy by opening a Penis Museum! Yes, the (get this!) Icelandic Phallological Museum and its 208 penises are housed in that quaint little building in the photo. There, you’ll find the penises of damn near every sea and land mammal in Iceland – except the ding dong of a man. Until now. As the article from Aol News states, “a donor named Pall Arason donated his educational tool to the museum in an impressive show of support for the sciences.” What a guy! It’s a man who truly is an incredible dumbass loves his country who’ll donate his thingy for the good of science and the cock museum. The thing is (<—-pun intended) is that Arason is dead so he doesn’t need his weenie anymore, but it’s in death that he made his greatest contribution the penis-collecting segment of Icelandic society. And any man that donates his doohickey for the good of science is OK by me…even if he’s a dead dumbass. Just run that thought up your flagpole. Pall Arason, you are hero to the Icelandic Phallological Museum and dick savers everywhere and your generosity will stand the test of time. You’re a real ding dong dandy.

Dumbass.