Category: Knockers

Nekkid House Cleaning, Texas Style!

FiFi

Lubbock, Texas. The Hub City. Located in the Llano Estacado (Staked Plains) of West Texas, Lubbock ain’t a bad little city. It’s home to Texas Tech University and the Red Raiders. I have been to Lubbock on a few occasions but not in many years. I remember it as a very conservative place where you actually had to leave the city limits to buy a six pack of beer. that may still be true, but Lubbock is a bit less conservative these days than way back then.

Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock made it so.

Nekkid House Cleaning

The idea behind Fantasy Maid Service is for you to hire out a maid from them and she will come to your house to clean it up the way it should be cleaned up. This is a great idea for bachelors who are too busy chasing split tail deer at the bars near the Texas Tech Campus to do a proper house cleaning. especially if Mom & Dad are coming for a visit.

What (lifts and) separates Fantasy from other such business in Lubbock is that the girls from Fantasy will clean your home in various stages of undress right in front of the customer, if of course the client is over 18 years old.

Nekkid Maids Love the Cops & Military Guys! (and Girls, too…maybe)

At this point, I feel it is better for me to copy and paste some information directly and unedited from the Fantasy web site, but the site blocks me from doing so! bwahahahahahahaha

You’ve got to see this shit to believe it, so I’ll give you a quick summary of the pertinent information, then you can click on the link that will follow so you can verify that what I am telling you is 100% true!

The Fantasy strippers maids also work parties pouring drinks and serving “appetizers” to party guests. I’ll bet. They heartily recommend two maids to work your party. I would assume that a single maid would get worn out too quickly to provide satisfactory service all night long. Let me stress here that Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock goes out of their way to point out that they are not an adult oriented business. I agree. Who in the world could possibly see a business that provides scantily clad or nekkid young women to clean homes or waitress at parties as an adult oriented venture? Certainly not me. I am all for the public display of boobs of all sizes, shapes and colors at any given time. provided of course that the boobs on public display are at least 18 years of age.

The owners of Fantasy Maids are not just people who rent out nekkid bimbos for house cleaning and parties, they are also community supporters! Why, they even offer a discount to cops, fire fighters and military members and vets! God bless America!

That’s a thumbnail sketch of what Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock is all about, but it is only fair that I provide a link to their website and let you see first hand what the hookers girls are expected to and not to do and some other shit. Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock.

Hooter Showing is a Right!

I feel compelled to alert you king hearted Dumbasses to the fact that this has not been all peaches and cream for Fantasy Maid Service. The Lubbock Police Department, at the behest of the Lubbock County District Attorney I would presume, are demanding that Fantasy pony up for a license that designates it as an adult oriented bidness. The owners of the nekkid maid place say they ain’t buyin’ it because they ain’t an adult oriented bidness. The cops retort that no license means a $2000 a day fine for Fantasy Maids! Two. Large. A. Day. The poor employees of Fantasy would have to show a ton of boobage to make up for a two grand a day penalty.

I say to the owners and maids of Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock : Fight back!

Tits for Tat

I have an idea that’ll turn this situation into a Public Relations nightmare for the prudes at City Hall and a financial windfall for Fantasy Maids!

Get all the maids at Fantasy and as many Texas Tech coeds and other young female owners of Sweater Puppies to go to the very steps of Lubbock City Hall and show them your knockers! If dozens of pairs of supple breasts are on prominent display right in Downtown Lubbock, imagine the media coverage to be had! imagine all the curious (and horny) young men of the Hub City that would show up in support (pun intended) of Fantasy Maid Service and demand that the City back off and harass some other local bidness persons! or minorities. Or wetbacks.

I would also urge that some enterprising Lubbobkidian get properly permitted by the powers that be in town and set up a refreshment stand! Hamburgers, hot dogs, french fries, burritos! Beer! Soda! make it a fucking party that the City of Lubbock will NEVER forget!

Be sure to take along your video cam and shoot as much footage as possible for posting on YouTube. As the brains behind this revolutionary concept, I get first shot at any and all video and/or photos taken at this event! 


You should alert  any and all media (TV, Radio, Newspapers,Blogs) well ahead of time in order to get maximum exposure! (pun intended again)

It’s Now in Your Hands, Lubbock!

I have given you a starting point in which to rally around the good titties people of Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock and fight the dickweeds that want to suppress boobies everywhere. I fully expect that you will keep me up to date on how things go during the Tits for Tat Protest and Exravaganza. I can be reached at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com.

Do your part, Lubbock! Show the world that your Sweater Puppies will not be impounded!

Make the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde proud!

Long live tits!

And Dumbasses!

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Chick w/Duct Taped Boobs Attacks 3 Cops!

Milestone: Some time yesterday morning Dumbass News topped the 100,000 page view barrier! One. Hundred. Thousand. That’s got a nice ring to it. I can’t begin to express my sincerest thanks to each of you for time and support. There were times when I wasn’t sure that we’d make it to a thousand, much less 100K.

I am humbled and grateful.

Thank you.

Fearless Leader

Best of Dumbass News

You know, I am getting pretty damned fed up with this shit. “This shit” being that Dumbasses everywhere are giving Duct Tape bad PR. It all started back in March when a couple of nekkid Dumbasses decided to get their freak on then take a drive around Portland, Oregon. On that occasion Duct Tape was used to bind the Lady Dumbass up like she was being kidnapped. Now if the Lady Dumbass had a nice rack on her then this would not be Duct Tape Abuse, but this is Portland, Oregon we’re talking about here, so that is doubtful. How do I know? Have you ever seen pictures of the women in Portland who would drive around town nekkid with their hooters bound by Duct Tape? I rest my case.

Well, the demeaning of that most valuable of Redneck Tool Box Accessories continues out on the Left Coast. This time by a stripper wanna be from Seattle. As you know, Seattle is a veritable mother lode of Dumbasses and the Communist and Suicide Haven Because It’s Gray and Rainy A Lot Capital of the United States.

I. Ain’t. Happy.

A Night on the Town

A woman whose name we do not know but we’ll call “MoonBeam” had had enough of the Commie bullshit and rampant suicide going on in her town, so she decided that a night out would be a good thing.

MoonBeam got all painted up and dressed up for her big excursion into the night life of Seattle and headed to a local night club. This is mere conjecture on my part, but I think it will be borne out by the end of this story, upon arrival at the club, MoonBeam began to drink a copious amount of Mad Dog 20/20. Soon she was obviously drunk. I say that because at some point later in the evening, MoonBeam began to take off her clothes. While still inside the night club.

Enter the Duct Tape

MoonBeam peeled off her shirt exposing her knockers then reached into her purse and pulled out some pink Duct Tape. At this point, she began to wrap the Duct Tape around her boobage when a club bartender and a female patron intervened and politely said, “Bitch, leave the club now!”, but not in those exact words.  MoonBeam would have none of this interference, so she proceeded to give the two interlopers an old fashion beat down.

The cops were called.

The cops get to the scene and MoonBeam, with her hammers firmly ensconced in pink Duct Tape, ran from them and tried to hide in the Ladies’ Room of a nearby KFC/Taco Bell joint. Now, if I am the cops and I’m looking around for a female suspect in the nearby KFC/Taco Bell, the Ladies’ Room would be a good place to check out. If there are no ladies with their tits wrapped in pink Duct Tape in there, you move on with the investigation. Alas, MoonBeam was in there and the police handcuffed her and led her out of the restaurant to the Police Cruiser.

MoonBeam was not amused.

More Fun!

It was at this point that, according to the Law, MoonBeam “freaked out”. By “freaked out” I think the Seattle PD meant that MoonBeam kicked the shit out of three of Seattle’s Finest. Further, by “kicked the shit out of”, I mean one cop severed a tendon in one of his fingers, another suffered a slight concussion when MoonBeam gave him a round house kick to the skull and yet a third cop suffered a dislocated jaw!

There was no word whether the pink Duct Tape kept MoonBeam’s hammers in place, but inquiring minds want to know.

Regardless, MoonBeam and her boobies will now spend a large portion of the next decade as a guest of the State of Washington. After the ass kickin’ she gave the cops, it has yet to be determined whether she will do her time in a men’s or a women’s prison.  

Or! the State of Washington could send her to Portland, Oregon. I hear there’s a Duct Tape-loving couple there that is looking for a new friend.

Duct Tape not included.

Dumbass.

Chick w/ Duct Taped Boobs Beats Up Three Cops!

West Coast Fashion Accessory

You know, I am getting pretty damned fed up with this shit. “This shit” being that Dumbasses everywhere are giving Duct Tape bad PR. It all started back in March when a couple of nekkid Dumbasses decided to get their freak on then take a drive around Portland, Oregon. On that occasion Duct Tape was used to bind the Lady Dumbass up like she was being kidnapped. Now if the Lady Dumbass had a nice rack on her then this would not be Duct Tape Abuse, but this is Portland, Oregon we’re talking about here, so that is doubtful. How do I know? Have you ever seen pictures of the women in Portland who would drive around town nekkid with their hooters bound by Duct Tape? I rest my case.

Well, the demeaning of that most valuable of Redneck Tool Box Accessories continues out on the Left Coast. This time by a stripper wanna be from Seattle. As you know, Seattle is a veritable mother lode of Dumbasses and the Communist and Suicide Haven Because It’s Gray and Rainy A Lot Capital of the United States.

I. Ain’t. Happy.

A Night on the Town

A woman whose name we do not know but we’ll call “MoonBeam” had had enough of the Commie bullshit and rampant suicide going on in her town, so she decided that a night out would be a good thing.

MoonBeam got all painted up and dressed up for her big excursion into the night life of Seattle and headed to a local night club. This is mere conjecture on my part, but I think it will be borne out by the end of this story, upon arrival at the club, MoonBeam began to drink a copious amount of Mad Dog 20/20. Soon she was obviously drunk. I say that because at some point later in the evening, MoonBeam began to take off her clothes. While still inside the night club.


Enter the Duct Tape 

MoonBeam peeled off her shirt exposing her knockers then reached into her purse and pulled out some pink Duct Tape. At this point, she began to wrap the Duct Tape around her boobage when a club bartender and a female patron intervened and politely said, “Bitch, leave the club now!”, but not in those exact words.  MoonBeam would have none of this interference, so she proceeded to give the two interlopers an old fashion beat down.

The cops were called.

The cops get to the scene and MoonBeam, with her hammers firmly ensconced in pink Duct Tape, ran from them and tried to hide in the Ladies’ Room of a nearby KFC/Taco Bell joint. Now, if I am the cops and I’m looking around for a female suspect in the nearby KFC/Taco Bell, the Ladies’ Room would be a good place to check out. If there are no ladies with their tits wrapped in pink Duct Tape in there, you move on with the investigation. Alas, MoonBeam was in there and the police handcuffed her and led her out of the restaurant to the Police Cruiser.

MoonBeam was not amused.

More Fun! 

It was at this point that, according to the Law, MoonBeam “freaked out”. By “freaked out” I think the Seattle PD meant that MoonBeam kicked the shit out of three of Seattle’s Finest. Further, by “kicked the shit out of”, I mean one cop severed a tendon in one of his fingers, another suffered a slight concussion when MoonBeam gave him a round house kick to the skull and yet a third cop suffered a dislocated jaw!

There was no word whether the pink Duct Tape kept MoonBeam’s hammers in place, but inquiring minds want to know.

Regardless, MoonBeam and her boobies will now spend a large portion of the next decade as a guest of the State of Washington. After the ass kickin’ she gave the cops, it has yet to be determined whether she will do her time in a men’s or a women’s prison.  

Or! the State of Washington could send her to Portland, Oregon. I hear there’s a Duct Tape-loving couple there that is looking for a new friend.

Duct Tape not included.

Dumbass.

Tits for Tat! Show Your Boobs for Nekkid Maids in Lubbock, Texas!

FiFi

Lubbock, Texas. The Hub City. Located in the Llano Estacado (Staked Plains) of West Texas, Lubbock ain’t a bad little city. It’s home to Texas Tech University and the Red Raiders. I have been to Lubbock on a few occasions but not in many years. I remember it as a very conservative place where you actually had to leave the city limits to buy a six pack of beer. that may still be true, but Lubbock is a bit less conservative these days than way back then.

Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock made it so.

Nekkid House Cleaning

The idea behind Fantasy Maid Service is for you to hire out a maid from them and she will come to your house to clean it up the way it should be cleaned up. This is a great idea for bachelors who are too busy chasing split tail deer at the bars near the Texas Tech Campus to do a proper house cleaning. especially if Mom & Dad are coming for a visit.

What (lifts and) separates Fantasy from other such business in Lubbock is that the girls from Fantasy will clean your home in various stages of undress right in front of the customer, if of course the client is over 18 years old.

Nekkid Maids Love the Cops & Military Guys! (and Girls, too…maybe)

At this point, I feel it is better for me to copy and paste some information directly and unedited from the Fantasy web site, but the site blocks me from doing so! bwahahahahahahaha

You’ve got to see this shit to believe it, so I’ll give you a quick summary of the pertinent information, then you can click on the link that will follow so you can verify that what I am telling you is 100% true!

The Fantasy strippers maids also work parties pouring drinks and serving “appetizers” to party guests. I’ll bet. They heartily recommend two maids to work your party. I would assume that a single maid would get worn out too quickly to provide satisfactory service all night long. Let me stress here that Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock goes out of their way to point out that they are not an adult oriented business. I agree. Who in the world could possibly see a business that provides scantily clad or nekkid young women to clean homes or waitress at parties as an adult oriented venture? Certainly not me. I am all for the public display of boobs of all sizes, shapes and colors at any given time. provided of course that the boobs on public display are at least 18 years of age.

The owners of Fantasy Maids are not just people who rent out nekkid bimbos for house cleaning and parties, they are also community supporters! Why, they even offer a discount to cops, fire fighters and military members and vets! God bless America!

That’s a thumbnail sketch of what Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock is all about, but it is only fair that I provide a link to their website and let you see first hand what the hookers girls are expected to and not to do and some other shit. Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock.

Hooter Showing is a Right!

I feel compelled to alert you king hearted Dumbasses to the fact that this has not been all peaches and cream for Fantasy Maid Service. The Lubbock Police Department, at the behest of the Lubbock County District Attorney I would presume, are demanding that Fantasy pony up for a license that designates it as an adult oriented bidness. The owners of the nekkid maid place say they ain’t buyin’ it because they ain’t an adult oriented bidness. The cops retort that no license means a $2000 a day fine for Fantasy Maids! Two. Large. A. Day. The poor employees of Fantasy would have to show a ton of boobage to make up for a two grand a day penalty.

I say to the owners and maids of Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock : Fight back!

Tits for Tat

I have an idea that’ll turn this situation into a Public Relations nightmare for the prudes at City Hall and a financial windfall for Fantasy Maids!

Get all the maids at Fantasy and as many Texas Tech coeds and other young female owners of Sweater Puppies to go to the very steps of Lubbock City Hall and show them your knockers! If dozens of pairs of supple breasts are on prominent display right in Downtown Lubbock, imagine the media coverage to be had! imagine all the curious (and horny) young men of the Hub City that would show up in support (pun intended) of Fantasy Maid Service and demand that the City back off and harass some other local bidness persons! or minorities. Or wetbacks.

I would also urge that some enterprising Lubbobkidian get properly permitted by the powers that be in town and set up a refreshment stand! Hamburgers, hot dogs, french fries, burritos! Beer! Soda! make it a fucking party that the City of Lubbock will NEVER forget!

Be sure to take along your video cam and shoot as much footage as possible for posting on YouTube. As the brains behind this revolutionary concept, I get first shot at any and all video and/or photos taken at this event! 


You should alert  any and all media (TV, Radio, Newspapers,Blogs) well ahead of time in order to get maximum exposure! (pun intended again)

It’s Now in Your Hands, Lubbock!

I have given you a starting point in which to rally around the good titties people of Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock and fight the dickweeds that want to suppress boobies everywhere. I fully expect that you will keep me up to date on how things go during the Tits for Tat Protest and Exravaganza. I can be reached at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com.

Do your part, Lubbock! Show the world that your Sweater Puppies will not be impounded!

Make the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde proud!

Long live tits!

And Dumbasses!