|15 Strikes and you Live Here for Free|
One of the cool things about writing on a blog like this is that dumbass never takes a vacation. I mean, how can it? There are over six billion people in this world, so odds are that there should be a few practicing dumbasses. I wish Vegas gave odds like that. For our dive into the dumpster of dumbassery today, we travel to that tropical paradise of Malaysia. A man in the city of Sungnai Nibong, which in Malaysian means “City of Dumbasses”, broke into a house while the owners were away. He ransacked the home and gathered up $3000 worth of loot. At this point, a non-dumbass burglar would have left the scene of the crime immediately, but this dumbass is not your ordinary burglar. Or your ordinary dumbass. Instead of robbing the home and leaving, this guy decides to… wait.for.it. take a nap! This gets better. While our sleeping beauty was taking his siesta, the homeowners returned to the house to find a strange car parked in the driveway. The dumbass burglar’s car! Upon entering their home, the owners found the dumbass crook asleep in their son’s room! The suspect woke up when he was discovered and fled the scene through a bedroom window and was apprehended a short time later. It’s not a surprise that this idiot would find trouble. He has fourteen previous convictions for various criminal and drug offenses. Who’d a thunk it? Drugs? This dumbass? To my way of thinking, the bigger dumbasses in regards to this man are the stupid fuckers in the justice system responsible for not putting the dipshit in jail and giving the key the old heave ho. Oh, well…such is life. My advice to any future dumbass crooks out there is : next time you feel the need to break and enter and get the urge to sleep before eluding the authorities, DON’T! Or you, too, could be only fourteen more strikes away from actually going to jail. Dumbass.