|Dinky’s Measuring Stick|
A quick check of the Dumbass News archives shows that I have run exactly one post about tasers. That story was about a cop tasing a female fellow cop’s ass while at the Police Station. We have another taser story today where the cops tase a nekkid guy in a marathon.
I am not making this up. Let me splain. In Cincinnati, they were holding the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon when a nekkid dumbass joined in on the fun. The crowd may have been amused, but the Police were not. (side note: what a Dumbass name for a marathon. And I say that with love in my heart. It’s great!) Now back to your regularly scheduled “Nekkid Dumbass Crashes Flying Pig Marathon” blog post. Anyway, the nude dumbass, in all his glory was ordered by the heat to stop running and get into a squad car or he would be tased. He did not comply with this lawful order, so the local fuzz (pun intended) tasered the numb nuts (pun intended again). “Dinky”, as the crowd called him, (OK, I made that part up), immediately fell flat on his gazebos and the attendant appendage that accompanies a man’s gazebos. FYI, Dinky the Nekkid Dumbass was not a registered participant in the race. Not only did he expose his gazebos to all those in attendance, but he failed to pay the required entry fee for the marathon! This is unacceptable! If you are gonna try to run nude in a big foot race, at least pay the fucking fee, dumbass! Oh, yeah…and wear some fucking clothes! Nobody wants to see your teenie weenies or plumber-lookin’ ass running for 10 feet much less 26 miles and some change. have you no decency (or real gazebos), Sir?
Dinky was arrested for being nekkid in public and some other silly shit and hauled off to jail. His trial is forthcoming and I simply hope that he will not be exonerated because of lack of evidence or it fails to stand up in Court. C’mon, you had to know that was coming (pun not intended). Dumbass.