A few days ago I wrote this about the lady who eats cat hair: If the woman in this story isn’t named the winner of the 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Award for 2013, I’ll kiss your ass in the middle of downtown Dallas and give you an hour to draw a crowd.
I was wrong.
Meet me in Big D.
I’ll practice my puckering.
You. Can’t. Make. This. Shit. Up.
I got nothin’ to add.
***Hat tip to Matt Vaughn – A Friend of Many Years & a Lifelong Dumbass***
It was two years ago today that I found a story about a dumbass bitch who gave her long-time boyfriend “permission” to go bag some other skank for one night only. I blogged about it,. Thus, the humble beginnings of Dumbass News. And I haven’t looked back.
On that day two years ago I started Dumbass News just to have something to do. It was at that time that my Doctor told me I’d have to retire due to some health concerns and some mental illness issues that have been visited upon me. I have more letters followed by the words “disorder” or “syndrome” than a can of Campbell’s Alpha Bet Soup. But, I digress.
On September 19, 2010 when I wrote an introductory post announcing the “Grand Opening” of Dumbass News, I thought I’d have a few readers amongst family and friends around the country. I got them OK and several hundred a day more on a good day. Talk about being humbled. I have been slapped down and called “Shorty”.
A Few Quick Facts About Dumbass News
- Dumbass News is my first attempt at blogging.
- I love this blog like it’s one of my kids, which considering I personally write all the stories (except for the very occasional Guest Post). Anything that you write yourself, no matter how stoopid or brilliant, or in my case case, brilliantly stoopid, is like a new family member to a writing person.
- I have posted over 700 (seven hundred!) stories on Dumbass News.
- Yes, there really is a Mrs. Fearless Leader. She has been with me through thick and thin for almost eight years, which proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that she is a Dumbass. And deservedly so. I love her.
- Here’s a factoid people have a hard time swallowing: I turned 56 years old a few days ago and yes, I have children ranging in age from 5 years old to 33 years old. They are my children. I helped make them. Even though two Mrs. Fearless Leaders did the heavy lifting. A few of my grandkids are older than my youngest children. So there.
- Dumbass News has been read by Dumbasses in 144 Countries around the world.
- By the end of today, Dumbass News will have been viewed more than 88,000 times. That averages out to more than 3667 per month or 267 per day. Considering how slow things were in The Beginning, that ain’t too bad for a one Dumbass operation. Nowadays, I average between 8000 and 10,000 page views per month.
- I still make fun of anybody but my Mom, the Pope or Billy Graham.
- I absolutely love doing this shit.
I think I’ll make this a “Mini Series” of sorts by listing some of my personal favorite stories and the stories that you, the Dumbass Horde, have
endured. made the most popular during the last couple of years. So, over the next two or three days, I shall regale you with some Dumbass Blasts from the Past. If you have a favorite, drop me a note in the comments or send me an email to realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com and I’ll include it on the “Greatest Dumbass Hits” play list.
It’s ready made subject matter, what do you expect from a Fearless Leader?
I wish I could personally thank the tens of thousands of you who have visited Dumbass News over the past two years but that means I’d have to shake your hands and God knows where those hands have been.