Illegal immigration is a major problem in this country right now and both sides of the political divide rail on about what ever their side believes on this very important issue.
When we think of illegal aliens in the United States, we generally think of Meskins, Guatemalans, Hondurans and all the Latin American people south of the border. regardless of your stance on the argument. Oh, yeah, we think of a lot of guys named Muhammad and Abdul also, but only because so many of them want to blow us to smithereens. The Meskins, et al, generally speaking, are simply looking for a better life for their families and are eager to get into Los Estados Unidos by any means possible, including being smuggled into the country in jam packed vans and 18 wheelers, risking life and limb. However, illegal is illegal, no matter one’s intentions, so I do not condone smuggling or assisting any foreign national in getting into the USA by any other than lawful means.
Canadians, on the other hand, ain’t exactly beating down the border trying to get here, but when they do so, they do so in style.
Permtiame explicar. A little Meskin lingo there that roughly translates as “let me splain”.
Playboy Playmate, Human Smuggler
You gotta admit that a mighty fine way to commit a felony by attempting to enter the USA illegally would involve a Playboy Playmate. i wouldn’t know for sure as I am an American citizen, but I do know that it would certainly beat the hell out of swimming across the Rio Grande or riding in an oven of an 18 wheeler to get here.
This scenario actually took place.
A Wacky Canadian Guy, WCG, wanted to get into the US real bad. His girlfriend wanted to get him here real bad. WCG’s woman is a Playboy Playmate! Were I younger and unattached and a Canuck, sneaking across the border with a Playmate would be a grand idea. I am not a large person, so there would be all kinds of nifty hiding places on a Playmate for a guy my size. I won’t elaborate as some things are better left unsaid for fear of paying child support and alimony.
My lips are sealed.
The Playboy Chick is Colleen Shannon, who appeared in the 50th Anniversary Edition of Playboy in 2004, so this is not a homely woman. Why an intelligent, patriotic young woman (smell the sarcasm I am cookin’ here?) want to smuggle a Canadian into the United States for Gawd’s sake? All the dude had to was get a few papers in order with the Immigration Department Dumbasses and he could have come on over without a problem. Does he think he’s Meskin or something? Or how about, you know, marrying the Playboy Playmate you fucking moron! There are worse ways to go through life than to spend it with a semi-hooker, prolly-Lesbian hot fucking tamale.
But hell no! These two Einsteins went the illegal route and now face up to ten years in prison for their misdeeds.
On the bright side, Colleen could always film a few “Prison Hooker in Chains ” movies to keep her fans’ “attention” while she’s in the Slammer. I’m just sayin’. And writin’ movie scripts.
On the flip side, I am sure that there are some very nice Canuckistani Playmates cavorting about the night clubs of Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver. can’t you just start porking one of them instead of the American bimbo? I am also pretty sure than there are some red blooded American dudes who would love to be smuggled into the Great White North in some Playmate’s cleavage.
Collen,the next time you feel the need to deal in human trafficking, do it the old fashioned way – in a 53 foot trailer loaded with hockey pucks or moose innards.
Like the Meskins do.
Oh boy! One of my favorite, and one of the most popular, subjects on this blog is midgets. I have absolutely nothing at all against midgets. Hell, I am only 5’4″ myself. That ain’t exactly Andre the Giant territory. It’s just that so many people, many of them midgets themselves, get so fucking bent when a midget goes against what they (the bent people) think is “proper” behavior for a “little person”. A shitload of midgets get pissed off as well.
A Little Bull
The latest thing to put a knot in the panties of a bunch of sissy do-gooders is Midget Bullfighting. You got it. Little People doing the cucaracha with bulls. Baby bulls of course. And this pisses off so many pussies why? Why is it that midgets have to all be exactly the same following the same rules or living the same lifestyle? I don’t get it. The Little People doing the bullfighting surely know what they are getting into. Or are they, as the Pissed Off Pussies seem to insinuate, too stoopid to make their own decisions? I go with the Bullfighting Midgets on this one. They are playing the hand that they’ve been dealt and making some cheese (that’s money for those of you in New Jersey) also. Do these same protesters think less of Meskins or Spaniards for bullfighting? Or are they expected to bend tacos and make sangria simply because of some pre-conceived idea of what Meskins and Spaniards are “expected” to do? I can’t remember his name, but did you know that the richest man in the world is a Meskin? I guess he bent a shit load of tacos to get there. Oh, did I mention that dwarf bullfighting is very popular in Mexico? I wonder if the Rich Meskin Guy has a stake in it?
This is what all these Liberals and Pissed Off Pussies do. They complain and bitch and moan that white guys, particularly Southern White Guys, placed people in categories because of their skin color, ethnicity or some other stoopid shit. Some do. But the vast majority of these rednecks would be happy to have a midget over for dinner. Why hell, they’d even let the midget sit at the grown up table. You’d be surprised to learn that 99% of these same “bigots” would actually have supper with Negroes! Yes, Negroes! Of course the Negroes would have to sit at the back of the dining room, but at least they eat fairly close to the Southern White Guys. What more do you expect from raaaaacists and bigots? BTW, raaaaacist always has five “a”s in it.
My point is that while all the Pissed Off Pussies and Liberals, but I repeat myself, are supposedly the people who think that all men are equal, but they are the ones constantly grouping people by race, religion, midgetry, etc. I say fuck the Pissed Off Pussies and their ilk. They are a bunch of hypocritical assholes who need to get laid. Or summarily shot at sun up. I am only kidding. They don’t need to get laid. They might reproduce and we can’t have that. Just shoot ’em.
Or make ’em have a Negro over for supper. NO! Not as the main course! As a guest, dickweed!
The Pissed Off Pussies and other Liberal Asswipes should be looking up to midget bullfighters. But then they’d (the POP) would have to be bigger men to do it. And the only bull they know is the bullshit they are so full of.
Hat tip to The Dumbass Wife
***Photo from Getty via HuffPo***