They’ve been around since at least 4000 or 5000 years before Christ. Although I’m willing to go out on a limb here and venture a guess that all those millenia ago The Ancients did not go get their body art done by a guy named Monkey Wrench. But I could be wrong about that.
These days some of the tattoos I’ve seen look like they were done by Michaelangelo. They are nothing short of works of art, like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, except of course they are on some Dumbass’ forearm. Or back. Or something.
I have nothing against tattoos or the Dumbasses that get them, it’s just that tats ain’t my cup of tea. As a matter of fact, I have written a few Dumbass News stories about Dumbasses and their tattoos. In this one, it was a tattoo that led police to arrest a suspect in a murder! I don’t want to spoil the story, so go read it and I’ll wait here for you.
A few minutes later…another Dumbass With a Tattoo story parallels today’s tale. This one features a stunt pulled by a radio DJ. Hilarity ensues.
Normally, when a guy is the fan of a particular product or service, he’ll buy a gimme cap or T-shirt or some such.
Not this guy.
A Dumbass known only by his Twitter handle, @TheRealMyron, likes the video streaming service Netflix. A lot. How much? This much:
|@TheRealMyron’s Actual Tattoo|
Netflix was so touched by @TheRealMyron’s devotion to their company that they gave him a FREE year of their service.
@TheRealMyron is a Dumbass. Let me tell you why.
Why @TheRealMyron is Stoopid
- I’m guessing here, maybe one of you can put me some knowledge, but a tattoo like the one @TheRealMyron has must cost a couple of hundred dollars.
- Netflix costs about $8 a month. @TheRealMyron got twelve months free, right? $8 x 12 Months = $96. That’s about half the price of the tattoo!
- $96 worth of free shit for a guy who tattoos your brand on his body? Lifetime “Netflix” Tattoo = Lifetime Free Netflix. Cheap fuckers.
- Netflix pretty much sucks.
- Since Netflix pretty much sucks, unless they do something extraordinary regarding their programming, they won’t be around in a few years.
- Tattoos are FOREVER! Netflix ain’t.
- The cost of getting a tattoo removed is prohibitive. Maybe @TheRealMyron can sell his stock in Netflix when it goes the way of a well-digested bean burrito to defray the cost of removing or modifying his Netflix tattoo.
- The next tat that @TheRealMyron gets should be something like “DISH”. It’s more compact than “Netflix” and if DISH Network goes belly up, Myron can get “DISH” altered to read something like “RADISH”. Radishes will, sadly, never go away.
- Let us hope that @TheRealMyron never becomes a fan of “Josefina’s Taqueria and Meskin Food Emporium”.