Category: Norcross

Bank Robbery, Bigot Math and The Frozen Dead Guy!

Portrait of Fearless Leader

Best of Dumbass News

Your Fearless Leader of The Dumbass Horde (me) has had a busy day thus far this cold (15 degrees @ 16:26 EST; the low tonight? 3 below zero!) Saturday in New England. All I can say is that I’m glad Santa brought me a Gazebo Warmer ® for Christmas. Otherwise it could have tragic. And my voice, which is a solid baritone, would have gone up a couple of octaves. God bless the man who invented The Gazebo Warmer ®. Twice. Once for each gazebo. I’m just sayin’.

The tag line of this blog (“Bringin’ the Dumbassery on a Daily Basis”) has never been more appropriate than it was this week. We had enough dumbassery in one week….let me put it this way: if dumbassery was bling, I’d make Flava Flav look like he dressed like Jed Clampett.

Even though I’m late with the dumbassery today, I believe you’ll agree it was worth the wait. For example…

  • This week was so full of outstanding dumbassery that the most “sane” dipshit of the week was a guy who paid his girlfriend’s rent…..by robbing banks! That ought to be a major clue as to what’s yet to come.
  • Speaking of banks (<—-excellent Dumbass Segue)…A Wells Fargo Bank in  where else but California,. was hell bent on making withdrawals extremely simple for not only their customers, but everybody else too! They accomplished this unprecedented form of Customer Service by leaving the bank’s front doors OPEN all weekend!
  • In our most disgusting display of dumbass douchebaggery of the week, school board members in Norcross, Georgia showed their true colors (pun intended) towards black folks without even uttering a word. Hint: It concerns slavery and math. Be prepared to curse aloud. It’s that Ludacris. <—-humor noir
  • Bonus Dumbassery! Every story I post on Dumbass News is kind of like one of my kids. You know what I mean if you’re the parent of more than one child. You love them all, but not one more than the other. Having said that, I have a very difficult time not favoring the story of The Frozen Dead Guy over the other 446 posts on this blog. It’s Classic Dumbass from beginning to end with a healthy dose of international intrigue thrown in for good measure. This is a must read!

Dare I say that This Week in Dumbass News History will forever be the epitome of what the chronicling of dumbassery should be? I dare. Has the bar been set impossibly high for future Dumbass News content? Why, hell no!

I think I have just issued a challenge to myself. Challenge accepted.

Dumbass.

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Day 447 May Be Number 1

The Best Dumbass News Week Ever?

Your Fearless Leader of The Dumbass Horde (me) has had a busy day thus far this cold (15 degrees @ 16:26 EST; the low tonight? 3 below zero!) Saturday in New England. All I can say is that I’m glad Santa brought me a Gazebo Warmer ® for Christmas. Otherwise it could have tragic. And my voice, which is a solid baritone, would have gone up a couple of octaves. God bless the man who invented The Gazebo Warmer ®. Twice. Once for each gazebo. I’m just sayin’.

The tag line of this blog (“Bringin’ the Dumbassery on a Daily Basis”) has never been more appropriate than it was this week. We had enough dumbassery in one week….let me put it this way: if dumbassery was bling, I’d make Flava Flav look like he dressed like Jed Clampett.

Even though I’m late with the dumbassery today, I believe you’ll agree it was worth the wait. For example…

  • This week was so full of outstanding dumbassery that the most “sane” dipshit of the week was a guy who paid his girlfriend’s rent…..by robbing banks! That ought to be a major clue as to what’s yet to come.
  • Speaking of banks (<—-excellent Dumbass Segue)…A Wells Fargo Bank in  where else but California,. was hell bent on making withdrawals extremely simple for not only their customers, but everybody else too! They accomplished this unprecedented form of Customer Service by leaving the bank’s front doors OPEN all weekend!
  • In our most disgusting display of dumbass douchebaggery of the week, school board members in Norcross, Georgia showed their true colors (pun intended) towards black folks without even uttering a word. Hint: It concerns slavery and math. Be prepared to curse aloud. It’s that Ludacris. <—-humor noir
  • Bonus Dumbassery! Every story I post on Dumbass News is kind of like one of my kids. You know what I mean if you’re the parent of more than one child. You love them all, but not one more than the other. Having said that, I have a very difficult time not favoring the story of The Frozen Dead Guy over the other 446 posts on this blog. It’s Classic Dumbass from beginning to end with a healthy dose of international intrigue thrown in for good measure. This is a must read!

Dare I say that This Week in Dumbass News History will forever be the epitome of what the chronicling of dumbassery should be? I dare. Has the bar been set impossibly high for future Dumbass News content? Why, hell no!

I think I have just issued a challenge to myself. Challenge accepted.

Dumbass.

Negroes and Math Books in Norcross, Georgia

3rd Grade Negro Math Question – Norcross, GA

On occasion when writing a story for this blog, I get real close to the extremely thin line that separates good taste from out of bounds – too often to some. My general attitude is that if I think something I write approaches that imaginary line, I stop just short enough of it to remain on the “good taste” side of it. I rarely, if ever, cross that boundary – at least in my opinion, and that’s the one that counts. It’s my blog. I am the Head Dumbass. The Mayor of Dumbassville. The Big Cheese. The Boss. Your Fearless Leader. I honestly try not to piss off too many readers, but no matter how much I attempt to please everyone, there are always a few sour pusses and “victims” who have to whine about any and every thing. But, hey, their page view counts exactly the same as my Mother’s. That’s simply the way it is. Let ’em “click” to get here and scream victimhood and squshed like the cow-patty-on-a hot-day that they are or let ’em “click” to get to another of the billions of blogs on the WWW and cry like whimpering puppies at anything they deem to be a turd in their punch bowl.

I may scribble something a “little colorful” on these pages, but it’s intended to generate the thinking process not to offend anyone. Except the Fwench and the radical homos in the Bay Area. Please understand that I am not a Francophobe (look it up, Dumbass), I actually like some Fwench stuff. Like their fries. And French Canadians, but not the ones from Quebec. They are, generally speaking, pussies and asswipes looking down their collective nose at the English-speaking folks of Canuckistan. I have almost 1500 regular readers from Canadia (not a typo), so it’s simple math that says a handful of them are pussies. The Law of Averages, if you will. And homos are, well, homos. NTTAWWT.

I am explaining all this for a reason which I will get to in just a minute, so hang in there with me.

Blacks and Real African Americans

Speaking of colorful, I also mention the word “negro” now and again. That makes some black people, and some Liberal crackers, mad as Hell. Why? I dunno. In my 55 years, people of African heritage have been called negroes, blacks, coloreds and African Americans. They are indeed negroes and blacks but not coloreds nor, about 99% of the time, African Americans. Black is the absence of color, so that blows “coloreds” all to Hell. Numberswise, there are very few African Americans in this country. 99% (hyperbole) of blacks, or AAs  as conjured up by politically correct sissies (Liberals and black “victims”), are not from Africa at all. They are Americans. Just like 310.000.000 other human beans. These same PC crybabies want you to believe that all “African Americans” are people with black skin. I call bullshit. What about some guys from Egypt who are now American citizens? They are actual “African Americans”. White guys from South Africa can be “African Americans” as well. Dump the African American crap. You are either American or African, except in very few cases, not some polarizing fantasy made up by dumbasses like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton or Ted “Chappaquiddick” Kennedy. Professional race baiters, each and every damn one of them. Fuck ’em all.

This rant has already gone on too long and I haven’t even gotten to the Dumbass of the Day part yet. Therefore, for now, I won’t get to explaining Hispanics in the USA. We’ll save the Taco Benders Meskins for another day.

Please remember that I’ll make funny of anybody (except my Mom, the Pope & Billy Graham) at any time for any reason, so don’t get your knickers in a wad.

Now for Something Really Offensive


Beaver Creek Elementary School in Norcross, Georgia did something recently that offended even me. That is not easy to do. Third grade teachers at the school gave a math test to their students not long ago that would make Richard Pryor blush. And that is quite an accomplishment. A couple of the questions on the exam were more than disgusting, they were vile and demeaning. Here are two of the puke-worthy problems on the quiz, copied word for word. 1) “Each tree had 56 oranges. If 8 slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?”is that not repulsive enough? Then try this one on for size: 2) …” other questions included “calculating how many times a slave named Frederick would get beaten in a week if he average two wallops per day”. 

How does that bigoted shit grab you? After reading that tripe, I feel like I need a shower and some brain bleach. The obvious question here is who in the Hell thought this was a good idea? My guess is that today it is someone without a job at the Norcross School District. Good riddance to bad rubbish and I apologize to good rubbish all over the Planet for comparing it to these cretins.

Cracker Crumbs 

I just took a look at the membership page of the Gwinnett County (Norcross included) School Board. Guess what? Each of the board’s five members is a white person. Three of them women!  I may be barking up the wrong tree here, but I have a relevant question for the Five Whiteys. What the fuck have you been smoking? I want some! Now! My assumption is that the State Education dumbasses are to blame for this catastrophe, but that still doesn’t acquit the County Crackers of all complicity. At least one of them or a member of his/her staff must have at least thumbed through this math book. Whoever at the State level that is responsible for the distribution of this textbook that every 3rd Grader in the county, maybe even the entire State(!), will learn from, should be lined up, blindfolded, given a last cigarette (even if he/she doesn’t smoke) and summarily shot at sunrise! I’m just joshin’ about the smoke and the blindfold, but the lined up and summarily shot part I stand by. OK, not really. But, the dumbass should be standin’ in the welfare line post haste.

Get Mad at Somebody Else

Remember Chapter 2 way up ^^^^^^^^^^ there? Good. Don’t you ever, and I mean ever accuse me of crossing “The Line” about anything I write on this blog. You Liberals and Professional Victims turn your wrath, anger and butthurtedness to things that are truly despicable, like the dickweeds who let the “Negro” Math Book make its way into the class rooms of Georgia third graders. They crossed several lines, none of them good,  when that happened.

I have come up with a much more appropriate question that could take the place of one of the ugly ones on the math test. How does this one grab ya? The test could contain “questions [that] included calculating how many times a slave School Board member named Frederick  Chairman David would get beaten in a week if he average two wallops per day.” Not enough if you ask me.

Bigots and…..

…..Dumbasses.