|Mrs. Dumbass & Friends|
As you know, I live in Maine, which is very close to Canada. Nova Scotia is a Canadian Province in extreme eastern Canada. Since Maine is in the extreme eastern USA, it is a close neighbor to Nova Scotia. I just hope the wind doesn’t blow from east to west, because there are some seriously deranged individuals in Nova Scotia, and here in Maine, we don’t need any airborne foreign dumbass virus carried by the wind into this fine, if Yankee, state.
Case in point. Canadian dumbass Dave Hockey ( the perfect Canadian name, Hockey) lives in Nova Scotia with his wife and fourteen life-size dolls! Now ain’t that cozy? Good ole Dave even takes his dolls places like Niagra Falls, Stonehenge and the Grand Canyon. It may be just me, but does anyone else think that Dave’s an ice brick shy of an igloo? Oh, but wait! There’s more! Dave even takes his dolls sky diving, horseback riding and motorcycling. There’s a thousand one-liners waiting to be tossed in at this point of our story, and I’ll be damned if I can think of even one! I mean we’ve got dumbass, Hockey, puck, an almost endless list and I draw a blank! Hockey told the Daily Mirror, eh?, (all Canadian newspapers end in “eh”. It’s a national law or something, dave told the paper, “My wife understands it is a hobby. She isn’t threatened by the dolls. She knows I’m not going to run off with an 80-pound piece of silicone shaped like a woman,” Hockey said. Oh, hell no! Dave wouldn’t run off with an 80 pound piece of silicone, he just takes them around the world! Dave, you, dumbass, lay off the Molson’s, bro, it’s eating away at what gray matter you have left.
Dave and other dumbasses like him, Canadian or not, who like these life-size dolls are called iDollators and it just so happens that Dave is making a doll-cumentary (I just made up that word) about himself and the other jack wagons that “play” with these dolls. I’ve gotta say right here that I understand why Dave is making his little film. He has to recoup some of the cash he’s invested in these damn dolls. They cost as much as thirty-two hundred dollars EACH and it cost thousands more to “clothe” them. Dave insists that he is different from other iDollators, “Some iDollators prefer their dolls over a normal human relationship. But for me they’re just dolls,” he said. Lemmee get this straight. On the low end, he has spent over $14,000 on dolls and thousands more on clothes for them. Dave, I think that is just a little more than “they are just dolls”. Dumbass. Dave must be loaded with dough. that’s the only reason his wife stays with this idiot. Either that, or she’s a butt ugly dumbass, too. The mind boggles. Dumbasses.