Long time readers of Dumbass News know that nekkididity has been a staple subject of the blog since the beginning. Having said that, nekkidness is not gratuitously used for cheap thrills or anything like that. It is, however, as an excuse to put a photo of a nubile young woman on the same page as the accompanying post. Like this:
I refuse to objectify women or put them in a negative light on this blog! Unless it is necessary to the plot. And what could be more necessary to the plot than a hot babe using band aids as a swim suit? Nothing! That’s what! When I see the photo to the right, I, for some odd reason other than being a pig, do not see a school librarian. Unless she has been in one of those movies. Having watched those movies (for blog research purposes only), I can assure you that she is not in any of them. Much to my dismay.
Also much to my dismay, it is time for the crowning of the “winner” of the Dummy Award for the Best Use of Nekkididity While Being a Dumbass.
The nekkid dumbass nominees are…
Almost Nekkid Guy Who Breaks into a Cafe – This dumbass broke into the cafe in question and according to the Police, “He definitely had a shirt, a fleece vest and socks on,” but no pants, underwear or shoes — despite the subzero temperatures”. I think I’ve said enough.
Dinky the Dumbass; Nekkid Marathoner – This is part of what I wrote regarding Dinky last May: “… the nude dumbass, in all his glory was ordered by the heat to stop running and get into a squad car or he would be tased. He did not comply with this lawful order, so the local fuzz (pun intended) tasered the numb nuts (pun intended again). “Dinky”, as the crowd called him, (OK, I made that part up), immediately fell flat on his gazebos and the attendant appendage that accompanies a man’s gazebos. FYI, Dinky the Nekkid Dumbass was not a registered participant in the race. Not only did he expose his gazebos to all those in attendance, but he failed to pay the required entry fee for the marathon! This is unacceptable!”. What a dickweed.
Legal Public Nekkididoty in San Francissy – Nekkid. San Francisco. Legal. Bad mojo.
There really is no winner in this line up of dumbasses, so let me put things this way..the recipient of the Dummy for the Best Use of Nekkididity While Being a Dumbass is…
The nekkid homos* of San Francissy! They win a Dummy Award from an obscure but growing by leaps and bounds dumbass blog. I hope you Godless Liberals and Folsom Street homos (SEE LINK WARNING BELOW) in the City by the Bay are proud of yourselves. This is about the best anyone could say about you.
*I have nothing against homos. Except the perverted bastards who are homos in S.F.
****This link contains EXTREMELY Graphic Homo Material! CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK!****
|Biff, Lance & “Friends”|
Holy Toledo! Today’s story is one of that after you’ve read it, you ask yourself “What the hell?”. In state of shock and utter disbelief, you read it again. Then it hits you. These dumbasses ain’t kiddin’! Let me splain.
Let me recap the story, then I’ll blast away with both keyboards in showing what a bunch of dumbasses and Godless homos (no offense to God-loving homos) run the city of, what else, San Francisco! Now it all comes into focus.
The City Fathers of San Francissy have approved an ordinance that will allow the nekkidists and homos to galavant all around one of the most beautiful cities in the world without a stitch of clothing on their Godless dumbass and homo bodies! Nekkid! El nude-o! In the raw! For all the world to see! First off, let me state that I have nothing against Godless dumbasses and homos. They can use cucumbers, spatulas and gerbils any way they choose as long as it is between two, or twenty, consenting adults and behind closed doors or in a homo disco. Hell, I have had Godless dumbass and homo friends before. Maybe even some Godless homo friends.
Where was I? Oh, yeah…the S.F. Board of Supervisors approve this “Git Nekkid” bill where people can go nekkid as a jay bird in public! I am about to ruin your appetite for the day, so brace yourself for some actual Godless dumbass and homo nekkidness. WARNING: What you are to see actually took place in San Francisco. It is sexually graphic and definitely NSFW and it damn sure ain’t safe for kids! You have been warned! A well-known blogger and photo essayist named Zombie works “under cover” in the Bay Area and filed this post of a homo event called the Folsom Street Fair. Lemme warn you one more time before you click on the link, this material is extremely graphic and of a sexual nature. Courtesy of zombietime.com…. the Folsom Street Fair. Is that some sick shit or what? If you can stomach looking at a lot of those photos, you’ll see cops just standing around while all this perversion goes on right in front of them! And the SF Board of Godless Dumbasses and Homos wants to let any Biff or Lance run around nekkid all over the city? What could possibly go wrong? We are doomed, fellow dumbasses.
There is a bit, nay (!), a truckload of irony in this story. I swear in the name of All That is Holy, I. Am. Not. Making. This. Up. This particular nekkid ordinance was introduced by Board member, get….ready….for….it….Scott Wiener! bwahahahahaha!!! Is that a swift kick in the gazebos or what? By introducing this bill, we know that Wiener is a Godless dumbass, I wonder if he’s a homo, too? Just askin’. I’m just glad that they don’t have a guy named Schitz on the Board of Supervisors.
What can I fucking say? (sigh)
I have an extremely busy day today, so I am making use of an old post from February, 2011. It was written on a Saturday and probably didn’t get that many views (Saturdays are like that for bloggers). So, I know that some of you old timers haven’t seen it and the thousands of new readers certainly haven’t. That sounds funny to me – thousands. I remember back in the beginning of the blog when I was hoping to get TEN new readers. I am floored. And humbled. Thank you all so much.
Today on Dumbass News, we are going to get down the bare facts about a group of dumbasses that get nekkid. Yes, I said nekkid. Don’t worry, there won’t be any pictures of nekkid people in this post but I will provide links to a couple of places that you might want to use discretion in visiting. The material on them is not suitable for work. Unless you are the Boss. If that’s the case, then dig in, Hoss.
There’s a group of people in our country that like to get nekkid for no apparent reason. Why a certain segment of our population likes gather with others and get nekkid together is beyond me, but, hey, it’s a free country. Another thing is that all these dumbasses that like to get nude with other dumbasses who like to get nude is beyond me. I’m not a prude, but I just don’t get it. On top of that, 99% of these nekkid dumbasses are people who you don’t want to see nekkid anyway! I mean this ain’t exactly a bunch of Playboy bunnies and whatever Playgirl calls their nekkid men. I used to work with a guy who was a nekkidist and I still can’t unforget that image. And this was in 1982! To each, his own. I guess.
This particular group of nekkid people even have a Twitter account (@aanr_nudist) as well as a Facebook page. Those pages do not show any nekkidness, so if you want to check them out, they’re safe for work and kids, as far as nekkidness goes. The group I am talking about today, called ‘Nakation” is down in Florida where at least it’s warm enough to gather and get nekkid. Here in Maine, most of the year they’d need a ‘Nekkid Dome” or some such indoor facility to do a group nekkid thing. These nude dumbasses even have an iPhone app so all the nekkidists can communicate with each other via their iPhones. Nakation’s “re-designed” website can be found here. I looked so you don’t have to and I can tell you that the Home Page doesn’t show any nekkid dumbasses in all their nekkid glory, just some photos from the neck up. I did not, however, go beyond the Home Page, so you are on your own after that.
Nekkidness going high tech was bound to happen, everything else has. So, if you know any dumbasses that want to get nekkid with people of a like mind, pass this information along to them. I am assuming, of course, that they have nothing to hide. Dumbasses. 🙂
***Cartoon from cartoonstock.com)***