Category: Papa Foti Pizza

ATTN: Men! Get Neutered & Receive a FREE Pizza!

Hold the Little Balls

Best of Dumbass News

 
As we all know, the economy is in pretty rough shape. As a result, many retailers are offering incentives for you to shop at their business. You know what I mean…buy 1 get 1 free, late night sales that offer deep discounts, etc. I found a business with an incentive that tops anything you’ve ever seen before. It’s so unique that it is Dumbass Worthy.

Snip Snip

A doctor in Sandwhich. Massachusetts had a plan for all you guys on the go. This special gives new meaning to the term “March Madness”. For you men about town, Dr. Evan Cohen is offering with each vasectomy in March, a FREE pizza! Yes, men, while some guy is fooling around with your nut sack, you can enjoy a nice, hot pepperoni pizza! Pepperoni. Ironic, ain’t it? The pizza of course contains no sausage balls. I’m just sayin’.

Dr. Cohen says that this is the busiest time of year in his clinic for men who seek vasectomies, so he thought a little enticement might boost business. Why he chose pizza I don’t know. It seems to me that hookers would be more appropriate. I mean shouldn’t a guy make test run with his newly snipped huevos rancheros.

Great Idea

Personally, I think this is a great idea. Not necessarily pizza as the premium, though. I think the good Doctor should give away a Cadillac or something with every 20th nut cuttin’. Now that would bring in the business. Think about it. Here are these guys who are giving up ever being a father again and all Dr. Cohen offers is a pizza? C’mon, Doc. Up the ante a little. However. it’s quite possible that we don’t want the vasectomees to reproduce again. They are in Massachusetts after all. But, I digress.

From a marketing standpoint, this is pure genius though. Professionals from all walks of life should give this promotion a try. Lawyers could give away a free divorce or write your will for free. Baby doctors give pass out free diapers, etc.

This whole idea does bring up a question though. What would a proctologist use as an incentive for a colonoscopy?

Nevermind. I don’t wanna know.

Dumbass.

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Doc Will Snip Your Gazebos & Give You a Pizza!

Hold the Little Balls

As we all know, the economy is in pretty rough shape. As a result, many retailers are offering incentives for you to shop at their business. You know what I mean…but 1 get 1 free, late night sales that offer deep discounts, etc. I found a business with an incentive that tops anything you’ve ever seen before. It’s so unique that it is Dumbass Worthy.

Snip Snip

A doctor in Sandwhich. Massachusetts had a plan for all you guys on the go. This specia;l gives new meaning to the term “March Madness”. For you men about town, Dr. Evan Cohen is offering with each vasectomy in March, a FREE pizza! Yes, men, while some guy is fooling around with your nut sack, you can enjoy a nice, hot pepperoni pizza! Pepperoni. Ironic, ain’t it? The pizza of course contains no sausage balls. I’m just sayin’.

Dr. Cohen says that this is the busiest time of year in his clinic for men who seek vasectomies, so he thought a little enticement might boost business. Why he chose pizza I don’t know. It seems to me that hookers would be more appropriate. I mean shouldn’t a guy make test run with his newly snipped huevos rancheros.

Great Idea

Personally, I think this is a great idea. Not necessarily pizza as the premium, though. I think the good Doctor should give away a Cadillac or something with every 20th nut cuttin’. Now that would bring in the business. Think about it. Here are these guys who are giving up ever being a father again and all Dr. Cohen offers is a pizza? C’mon, Doc. Up the ante a little. However. it’s quite possible that we don’t want the vasectomees to reproduce again. They are in Massachusetts after all. But, I digress.

From a marketing standpoint, this is pure genius though. Professionals from all walks of life should give this promotion a try. Lawyers could give away a free divorce or write your will for free. Baby doctors give pass out free diapers, etc.

This whole idea does bring up a question though. What would a proctologist use as an incentive for a colonoscopy?

Nevermind. I don’t wanna know.

Dumbass.

Dumbass Health Department Guy Almost Ruins Man’s Business

Boy, this is getting to be fun! What is getting to be fun? What’s getting to be fun is city governments doing dumbass things to innocent people. Let me re-phrase that. It’s getting to be fun if you’re not one of the innocent citizens who are being put through hell by an incompetent city officials. Allow me to elucidate, if you please.

This guy named Kenny owns a pizza joint in Fairfield County, Ohio. Our hard-working pizza joint entrepreneur shows up for work one day only to find a “Closed” sign on his business door. It was from the dumbasses at the County Health Department saying that Kenny’s place was shut down due to the fact that Kenny was delinquent in paying his license fee (that means tax, folks). Problem numero uno: Kenny was not behind in paying his tax! Problema numero two-o: A “Closed” sign put on your restaurant door by the dumbasses at the Health Department is the death knell for your business. Brother Kenny was not happy about this. As a result of this “mistake” (mistake! bwahahahahahahahaha that’s a good one! hahahahahaha)…Now that I have quit laughing my ass off, I’ll continue. As a result of this incompetence “mistake”, Kenny’s business for the weekend was down almost 70 %! 

The administrator at the Health Department, Larry Hanna, said, “We have apologized profusely.” I’m sure Kenny feels the love in that dumbass statement. My question to Mr. Hanna is, What about the money Kenny lost because some illiterate dumbass put the sticker on the wrong business, asshole? You guys gonna make up for that???!!! Hell no, you’re not, you bumbling dumbass! Oh, it gets better. Hanna had more reassuring words for Kenny and other businesspeople in Fairfield County. Check out this shit. Hanna said he has developed a policy to prevent the mistake from reoccurring. I’ve got a question for you, Lar ole Buddy. Why the fuck was this policy not in effect in the first place? Dumbass. I understand that mistakes happen, but that’s not the problem here. The problem is that the Fairfield County Health Department mistakenly put this “Closed” sign on Kenny’s pizza parlor, and he ended up taking a financial bath because of it. When any government agency is required to do something that takes away a man’s income, you had damn well better make sure that you have the right fucking business, dumbass!

I know we have many readers of this blog in the Columbus, Ohio area and I’d like to ask a favor of you. Sometime in the near future, please order a pizza from Kenny at Papa Foti Pizza in Millersports. Kenny is located near Buckeye Lake and is abot 30 miles east of Columbus, so it would be a nice, relaxing drive out to see Kenny and show him some support in wake of his travails with the Health Department dumbasses in Fairfield County. Look here. I’ll do you a soild and even link to Kenny’s website and to Mapquest, so it’ll be easy for you to get there or know what you want to order for delivery if you live inj Papa Foti Pizza’s delivery area. I’ve done all the work for you, so there’s no excuse to not help Kenny out when you get a chance. One more thing…please tell Kenny that the dumbasses here at the blog wish him well and if he needs our help in ridiculing or exposing the dumbasses he’s been dealing with, to please drop me an email at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com. Thanks a million!

Kick ass and take names, Kenny! The Dumbass Army is behind you !!!