Category: PETA

Commies Invade North Carolina, Put End to Town’s "Possum Drop"!

This time they’ve gone too far! And I am mad as hell!

Not a Member of PETA

The Annual New Years Eve Possum Drop in Brasstown, North Carolina is no more. The local church choirs that once sang hymns at the Possum Drop will be silent. A tribute to war veterans also becomes a casualty. After more than two decades of pure family fun, the Brasstown Possum Drop has come to an end thanks to PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and a pole cat of a judge.  

FoxNews.com fills us in: A judge ruled Tuesday that a state agency didn’t have the authority to issue a permit for the event.
“Citizens are prohibited from capturing and using wild animals for pets or amusement,” Judge Fred Morrison wrote in his ruling. “Hunters must afford wild animals the same right Patrick Henry yearned for: ‘Give me liberty, or give me death!'”
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals had sued the N.C. Wildlife Resources Commission, which issues the permit for the event, saying it’s illegal and cruel. 

Clay Logan, founder of the Possum Drop festivities said the possum is well fed and cared for by a veterinarian. During the event, it is placed in a plexiglass cage and lowered for 10 seconds. Shortly thereafter, the animal is turned loose into nearby woods, he said. A new possum is used each year, in part, because of their short life spans. A 3-year-old possum is considered old, he said.
Logan said the possum drop will continue in some form, although he won’t break the law. This challenge by PETA marks at least the third time that someone has challenged the drop, he said.

What in the name of all that is Holy going on here? You’d expect this kind of shit from PETA because that’s what they do, the idiots. But an Officer of the Court quoting Patrick Henry for the benefit of a possum thus overruling the very state agency that is responsible for the maintenance and preservation of wild animals in North Carolina? The way I see it is that if the guys at the Wildlife Commission say the Possum Drop is OK, then I don’t have a problem with it. Screw PETA and the Judge.

Sure, the possum is gonna be pissed off for a little while, but it could be much worse. He (the possum, not the Judge) could have an up close and personal encounter with a Ford truck on a local highway.What then? Would PETA sue the Ford Motor Company and would the Judge issue a temporary restraining order against F-150s? The answer is yes, the shit-stirrers at PETA probably would sue Ford and only God knows what this moron of a Judge would do.

What’s next? That groundhog in Pennsylvania?

I hereby urge the fine citizens to unite against this unwanted and unethical gubmint intrusion into their God-given Constitutional right to have their yearly New Years Eve Possum Drop! This tyranny must not and will not be tolerated! The pursuit of happiness must not be infringed upon by the overreaching arm of a rogue jurist! Write and/or email your Senators and Congress Persons and express your outrage at such a blatantly lawless attempt to subvert your rights by a Judge who obviously has not seen nor read the part of the Constitution that says “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s possum!” Or something. It’s in there somewhere, trust me on this one. I implore you to rise up in look this type of unAmerican, Commie lechery square in it’s bloodshot eyes and say, “enough!” Never surrender! Use the ballot box to rid yourselves of this power hungry adjudicator! He is a pox upon your fine community!

Alternatively, you could substitute a member of PETA for the possum.

Dumbasses.

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PETA Wants Roadside Memorial for Fish Killed in Wreck!

I am a fisherman. Correction: I am a damn good fisherman. More than fifty years experience will do that to a guy. Each time I head out to the lake, river or creek, I set out with the notion in mind of decimating the local fish population. Metaphorically speaking of course. Fish. Fear.Me. Having said all that, let it be known that I fastidiously follow all fishing rules and regulations when I am on the water. Fact is, I rarely ever even keep any fish after one of my fish-slaying extravaganzas. I practice catch and release 99.99999% of the time.

Going fishing for me is more like “going to Church”. I talk to God on a regular basis, but there’s something about fishing that brings me closer to the Almighty. I feel more at peace when I am fishing than at any other time. Is it the solitude? The calming effect of the water? I don’t know, but I do know that Jesus hung around with a bunch of fishermen,so it can’t be all bad.

Crying Over Spilled Fish

I bring up fishing today because of the following story from United Press International:

IRVINE, Calif. (UPI) — An animal rights group is asking a California city to put up a sign acknowledging the suffering of fish that died in a traffic incident.
Irvine resident Dina Kourda wrote a letter to city officials on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals asking for a sign to be placed at the site of the October crash to recognize the suffering of hundreds of saltwater bass that died when a truck carrying the fish collided with two other vehicles Oct. 11, The Orange County Register reported Tuesday.

Kourda said she wants the sign to remind truck drivers of their responsibility to the animals who are “hauled to their deaths every day.”

“Although such signs are traditionally reserved for human fatalities, I hope you’ll make an exception because of the enormous suffering involved in this case,” the letter read.

“Research tells us that fish use tools, tell time, sing, and have impressive long-term memories and complex social structures. Yet fish used for food are routinely crushed, impaled, cut open, and gutted, all while still conscious. Sparing them from being tossed from a speeding truck and slowly dying from injuries and suffocation seems the least that we can do,” Kourda wrote. 

Fish Burger in Its Natural Habitat

 My Thoughts

  • Are. You. Kiddin’. Me.?
  • We are dealing with PETA and Cal-ee-forn-ya here, so, no, they ain’t kiddin’.
  • Fish are meant to be eaten. The Son of Man ate them and that’s all the approval I need to eat them.
  • It’s very difficult to make a Filet O’ Fish without fish.
  • Is it just me or is it really offensive to compare the fish that perished in a traffic accident to the loss of a human life in a traffic accident?
  • Re: the Dead Fish Memorial Sign, see the comment directly above this one. Also, when you see a roadside memorial that marks the spot where a living breathing human being DIED, doesn’t it make you keenly aware of the dangers of drunk driving or something like that? A sign memorializing dead fish lacks, shall we say, impact?
  • If I were to see a “Fish Died Here” sign on the side of the road, I’d get hungry and start looking for the closest Long John Silver or Catfish Cabin.
  • Members of PETA are also against dancing shrimp.
  • Go fishing and take home a limit then send a photo of your catch to your nearest PETA office just to piss them off.
  • Eat more fish.
  • Screw PETA.

Dumbasses.

The Greatest Dumbass Ever! Dumbass Fishing Stories! And Get Hooked on Dumbass News!

The Greatest Dumbass Ever!

As we begin this week’s look back into Dumbass News History, I’d first like to salute perhaps The Greatest Dumbass of Them All. He was born Jerome Lester Horvitz in New York on October 22, 1903. He was the youngest of four (or five, I forget, but so the fuck what) brothers. His older siblings included Moses and Samuel, who would also become two of the Greatest Dumbasses of All Time. Some combination of Jerome, Moses and Samuel have been entertaining men and children, but I repeat myself, for nearly 80 years. Their brand of comedy revolutionized the way we laugh at things. An eye poke here, a boink on top of the head there and, along with Lawrence Feinstein of Philadelphia, some of the most hilarious comedy in the history of mankind were their trademarks. My favorite of these three was Jerome. I’ll stop here because, if you haven’t already, you’ll guess that I am telling you of Curly Howard. yes, that Curly Howard. His brothers were Samuel (Shemp) and Moses (Moe). And as the late Paul Harvey said so many times over the years…Now you know the … of the story. Happy Birthday, Curly! The Greatest Stooge and the Greatest Dumbass. Check out this clip from 1936’s Disorder in the Court. Be sure to catch the part with Curly getting on the witness stand. After lterally seeing this hundreds of times over the last 50 plus years, I still fall out when I see it. Pure genius. Nyuk. Nyuk. Nyuk.

Not nearly as funny as Curly, but still pr damn humorous is a look at some of the columns that have been reader favorites over the last year’s worth of Dumbass News. Today’s theme; Fish.

That’s your Dumbass Seafood Menu for today, so sit back. relax and curse and laugh with much gusto at these dumbasses. It’ll make you feel better. Guaranteed.

Be sure to click on the “Follow By Dumbass Email” button so you’ll never again miss the latest mockery of dumbasses around the world, maybe even in your hometown! Well, the only dumbass in your hometown is probably you, but what the hey! Subscribe anyway! Each new post will be sent directly to your email inbox! You can also Tweet any post in the Dumbass News archives to both your friends! Located just above the Twitter button in the right sidebar is an AddThis button that allows you to share any post on the blog via the social media of your choice. Give it a click and a list of literally hundreds of social and bookmark sharing sites will pop up, and you can use any or all of them to pass along the latest in Dumbass News!  Thanks!

Adios,
Toby
Head Dumbass

PETA, Dumbasses and Dancing Shrimp

WARNING: SOME READERS MAY FIND THE FOLLOWING STORY TOO GRAPHIC!

Let me state this up front. I think the vast majority of people who are members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) are dumbasses. Having said that, I know there are people in the organization who truly believe in PETA’s mission of stopping animal cruelty, and they do so legally and non-violently. I agree with these people 100%. Anybody who deliberately abuses an animal through acts of violence, starvation, neglect or whatever, should be punished to the full extent of the law. I am not talking about hunting or fishing, as the overwhelming number of these sportsmen obey applicable rules and regulations regarding their harvesting of animals or fish. Those outdoorsmen who do break the rules and regs concerning their sport, should also be punished according to the law. Now that that has been cleared up…

PETA has proven many times in the past to be a bunch of hypocritical dumbasses. Just click the previous link for stories regarding unlawful and sometimes violent behavior perpetrated by its members. And that link is the result of just one simple bing search. I won’t go into detail here, so just take a minute to see for yourself at the link. Well, it looks like the dumbasses at PETA are at it again. They have found something else to exercise control over, and make no mistake PETA is all about controlling the behavior of others because anyone that disagrees with them is a target of ridicule and scorn, or worse. Here’s the deal: this restaurant in California (go figure) has an item on their menu called “dancing shrimp” and Aol News says, “The “dancing prawn” dish features live prawns with their shells ripped off. When diners squeeze the lemon, the prawns react as you might in that situation: with a great big “ouch” reflex.” In other words, shrimp feel pain and PETA wants the “dancing shrimp” off the menu. Point number one; anybody who eats a live shrimp is a dumbass. Point number two: why the hell is it any of PETA’s business if this place serves “dancing shrimp” or not? Now, if the restaurant served, say, kittens in this manner, I’d side with PETA in a heartbeat. But we are talking shrimp here! Again, I wouldn’t eat a live shrimp to save my Mama’s life and people who do are a screwed up bunch. But PETA puts their nose in a small businessman’s business, screams , hollers and Lord knows what else and he caves in like a sand tunnel. What option does have? He’s just one guy with one restaurant and PETA is a big organization with tons of money from like-minded dumbasses who “care” for the shrimp. Hey, PETA! Do unborn babies feel pain, too? If you are satisfied that they do, do you wanna save them, too? Just askin’. Dumbasses.