|No Longer the Only Dumbass in Your Yard|
Pink plastic snails are set to invade Miami. As if pink plastic flamingos weren’t dumbass enough, enviro-weenies in Florida are going to put up pink plastic snails all over the Miami area. But wait! These are no ordinary pink plastic snails! No! They are pink plastic snails made of RECYCLED plastic! This gets better.
According to the UPI, Gloria Porcella, who is one of the dumbasses behind this project, “The concept is the snail wants us to think about ourselves and they want to teach us something,” Porcella said. “We run, run, run but what are we reaching? What are our goals? We are destroying our planet” And these eight foot plastic snails, spread all over the Miami, are just the cure to prevent us from “destroying our planet”? I doubt these snails will remind us of our transgressions against the environment, but they’ll damn sure make Miami look like an “alternative life style city”, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Evidently the recycled plastic snails are supposed to be symbolic of some stupid shit. We do know that the snails are symbolic of a bunch of pansies living in Miami, who have nothing better to do than to go to the local dump and scrounge around for old milk cartons and shit like that, so they can make plastic fucking snails! Good God! I’ll bet you a dollar to a donut that vast majority of these eco-pussies aren’t even residents of the state of Florida. Just sayin’.
Now having said all that, I can see one useful thing you can take away from these pink snails – pink snail target practice! (using lead-free shotgun shell of course) Dumbasses.