Category: Poison

Want Attention from Your Boyfriend? Poison Him!

Best of Dumbass News

Vicki Jo

Vicki Jo Mills of McConnellsburg was feeling that her boyfriend, Thurman Nesbitt, was lax in his duties in doting over her. So, instead of new lingerie, perfume or hairdos, Vicki Jo, hatched a plan that would make Thomas notice her like she’d never been noticed before.

It has been my experience in life that men sometimes put other things in life ahead of their wives/girlfriends that leave the poor woman craving attention. To be fair, the things that men put first are worthy things like fishing, golf, likker, etc, but there’s absolutely no excuse for neglecting your woman by means other than these. I am sensitive to a woman’s needs that way.

Neglected wimmin often drop subtle little hints that you have not shown them enough attention lately. They’ll put on a new perfume, get a new hairdo, buy sexy lingerie or try to poison you.

At least that’s the way wimmin in Fulton County, Pennsylvania do things.

Neglected

She decided to poison him! Over a period of three years!

This certainly got Thurm’s attention. It also got the attention of his doctor.

During three years of fluctuating blood pressure, vomiting and difficulty breathing, Ole Sawbones called in the Law. From abc27.com, “According to investigators with the Pennsylvania State Police, Vickie Jo Mills used Visine eye drops to poison her boyfriend, Thurman Nesbitt, at least 10 times since June of 2009.
State police got involved in the case in mid-July after Nesbitt’s doctor contacted them. He had been treating Nesbitt for years for unexplained nausea and vomiting, elevating and dropping blood pressure, as well as difficulty breathing.
A test showed the main ingredient for eye drops, tetrahydrozoline, in Nebitt’s blood. Troopers questioned Mills, who admitted to putting eye drops in Nesbitt’s drinking water.” 

If at First You Don’t Succeed…

Vicki Jo has been charged with aggravated assault in the case, still she maintains that “she “never meant to kill” her boyfriend, but “only wanted him to pay more attention to her.”. I agree with VJ here. poisoning your significant other at least ten times is a definite scream for attention – attention from law enforcement, the District Attorney and a hangin’ judge.

Vicki Jo will also be a big hit in the PA Department of Corrections for Dumbass Wimmin’s “Ain’t She Got a Purty Ass” Division where Spike McGillacuddy forms a one Lezbean welcoming committee, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Calls for Attention

Men, if you notice any of the more common “pay attention to me or I’ll cut off your gazebos or poison you” signs from your woman, do something immediately to ensure your own safety and happiness at home.

Tell the bitch to make you a sammich.

And get you a beer. Nothing says “I am paying attention to you” like that does.

And Vicki Jo? One word for you: batteries. Lots of batteries. You now have the attention you so are desperately craving.

Dumbass.

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Lady Poisons Her Own Vajayjay, Tries to Kill Husband With It!

One more time: If the woman in this story isn’t named the winner of the 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial “You Big Dummy” Dumbass of the Year Award for 2013, I’ll kiss your ass in the middle of downtown Dallas and give you an hour to draw a crowd. 

Words I regret ever having written.

Not only did I knowingly scribble that sentence, I did so with the unwavering confidence that I would never see downtown Dallas again. Twice.

I should’ve known better.

The last week’s worth of stories will be long remembered as the most loaded-with-Dumbass of the Year Candidates-Week in the two and a half year, 850+ blog post history of Dumbass News.

So far.

Today’s tale once again pegs the Dumbass-O-Meter to eleventy111!!11!! and is probably NSFW!

Tainted Taint

There’s a lady down in Brazil that doesn’t like her husband very much. Her dislike for her spouse had gotten to the point that she wanted to kill him. So she devised an ingenious plan to rid herself of him once and for all.

She poisoned her vajayjay!

A man is accusing his wife of trying to kill him by putting poison in her vagina and convincing him to perform oral sex with her.
The man, 43, became suspicious when he noticed a strange odor coming from his wife’s genitals, according to Portuguese news outlet tvi24.
When he took her to the hospital, she confessed to the plan, and doctors found enough poison in her body to kill them both.
She plotted to kill her husband when he refused to divorce her, according to the Huffington Post UK. She was treated and released from the hospital.
Officer Walter Colacino Junior has ordered further investigation of the case before any legal action is taken.

What I Think

  • Brazil is a heavily Catholic country and divorce is a Big No No in the Church, but I am sure that somewhere in the dogma of Catholicism there’s a rule against murder also. 
  • I am, I think, not going too far out on a limb when I say that attempted murder is against the law even in a happy-go-lucky place such as Brazil. 
  • What was this stoopid broad thinking? Did she not consider the fact that putting a toxic substance in her nether regions might just be dangerous to herself as well?!
  • If an odd odor is emanating from a cooter, is the cooter contaminated?
  • What effect will this incident have on oral sex in Brazil?
  • Should a warning label stating “Oral Contact with This Vajayjay May Be Fatal” be required on every vagina in the country?
  • Will the Brazilian Gubmint pass strict new Cooter Control laws?
  • How does a woman go about de-toxifying a poisoned lady part?
  • I hope this is not a trend.
  • I shall avoid Brazil like it’s downtown Dallas.

Dumbass.

Lady Poisons Boyfriend to Get His Attention!

Vicki Jo

Vicki Jo Mills of McConnellsburg was feeling that her boyfriend, Thurman Nesbitt, was lax in his duties in doting over her. So, instead of new lingerie, perfume or hairdos, Vicki Jo, hatched a plan that would make Thomas notice her like she’d never been noticed before.

It has been my experience in life that men sometimes put other things in life ahead of their wives/girlfriends that leave the poor woman craving attention. To be fair, the things that men put first are worthy things like fishing, golf, likker, etc, but there’s absolutely no excuse for neglecting your woman by means other than these. I am sensitive to a woman’s needs that way.

Neglected wimmin often drop subtle little hints that you have not shown them enough attention lately. They’ll put on a new perfume, get a new hairdo, buy sexy lingerie or try to poison you.

At least that’s the way wimmin in Fulton County, Pennsylvania do things.

Neglected

She decided to poison him! Over a period of three years!

This certainly got Thurm’s attention. It also got the attention of his doctor.

During three years of fluctuating blood pressure, vomiting and difficulty breathing, Ole Sawbones called in the Law. From abc27.com, “According to investigators with the Pennsylvania State Police, Vickie Jo Mills used Visine eye drops to poison her boyfriend, Thurman Nesbitt, at least 10 times since June of 2009.
State police got involved in the case in mid-July after Nesbitt’s doctor contacted them. He had been treating Nesbitt for years for unexplained nausea and vomiting, elevating and dropping blood pressure, as well as difficulty breathing.
A test showed the main ingredient for eye drops, tetrahydrozoline, in Nebitt’s blood. Troopers questioned Mills, who admitted to putting eye drops in Nesbitt’s drinking water.” 

If at First You Don’t Succeed…

Vicki Jo has been charged with aggravated assault in the case, still she maintains that “she “never meant to kill” her boyfriend, but “only wanted him to pay more attention to her.”. I agree with VJ here. poisoning your significant other at least ten times is a definite scream for attention – attention from law enforcement, the District Attorney and a hangin’ judge.

Vicki Jo will also be a big hit in the PA Department of Corrections for Dumbass Wimmin’s “Ain’t She Got a Purty Ass” Division where Spike McGillacuddy forms a one Lezbean welcoming committee, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Calls for Attention

Men, if you notice any of the more common “pay attention to me or I’ll cut off your gazebos or poison you” signs from your woman, do something immediately to ensure your own safety and happiness at home.

Tell the bitch to make you a sammich.

And get you a beer. Nothing says “I am paying attention to you” like that does.

And Vicki Jo? One word for you: batteries. Lots of batteries. You now have the attention you so are desperately craving.

Dumbass.