People fight for the damnedest reasons. We have covered many of them here on Dumbass News.
The reasons for altercations are often hilarious. Take, for example, the story of the girl the girl who beat up her boyfriend because he didn’t want to have sex with her when she was as horny as a fresh-fucked fox in a forest fire.
Facebook is at he root of many fights as well. One stoopid comment on face book caused thirty women to riot! One comment, one riot. I guess that OK.
Sometimes it’s not the reason for the fight, it’s the fight itself. Like the time a cop in Denver was smackin’ his girlfriend around. When she finally got a chance to fight back, she did – with a Justin Bieber doll! beat the hell outta the sumbitch with it. bwahahahahahaha Good for her!
On other occasions, it’s the object of a Dumbass’ ire that’s the funny part of a story.
Like this guy in Roswell, New Mexico.
UFO – Unidentified Fighting Object
Roswell Police recently answered a call about a fight. A fight between a Dumbass and a stop sign. You read that right, a stop sign!
The cops arrived on the scene to find Raymond Garcia dukin’ it out with a a stop sign. UPI tells us, Police said Garcia was belligerent and attempted to flee from the officers. The arrest report said two officers shot Garcia with Taser darts, but he broke them off from his stomach and kicked at the officers.
“Usually when somebody is tased, their muscles contract and don’t allow them to do anything, and that’s why you normally see them fall to the ground,” Sabrina Morales of the Roswell Police Department said.
Garcia was also doused with pepper spray, but he wiped it from his face and kept fighting, police said. They said he managed to grab an officer’s baton and attempted to use it to fight police.
High As a Kite
I think we can surmise at this point that Raymond was higher than a Roswell flying saucer. Whatever he was on, I don’t want near me. That shit’ll kill you. I mean the guy ripped taser cables out of his body, wiped pepper spray from his eyes and disarmed a cop without blinking an eye. Holy shit!
All I know is that Raymond Garcia is lucky to be alive, thanks to the professionalism of the cops on the scene.
No word on the condition of the stop sign. Heh.