Category: Sacramento

Lady Taking Pic of One Train, Gets Hit by Another!

Death.

I have written a variety of posts about it. Although these stories all have Death in common, they vary in how Death is dealt with in each.For example, one of these tales is about a dead guy whose body was rejected by Science because he was too fat. One story concerns a woman who is very much alive despite the fact that her bank says otherwise. A few posts reveal the weird ways that some Dumbasses met their Maker – one guy died smack dab in the middle of cheating on his wife during a threesome! Another keeled over while in the middle of “gettin’ some” when she was accidentally shot to death by her husband! Yet another Dumbass was setting up a Bigfoot hoax on the side of a highway when he was splattered by an oncoming car.

As strange, and tragic, as all these deaths are, I have come across one that may be even weirder than any of them.

Chattanooga Choo Choo

A teacher in Sacramento, Cal-ee-forn-ya was on an outing taking some photos when she happened upon some train tracks. On these tracks, an oncoming train presented a great opportunity to get a once-in-a-lifetime photograph! And when I say once-in-a-lifetime, I mean once-in-a-lifetime! 

The teacher was standing on the train tracks snapping away with her camera when the unthinkable happened. She was obliterated by another train coming in the opposite direction!
I. Am. Not. Making. This. Shit. Up.
Notes
If somebody vapor locks during a threesome while cheating on his wife,or if some Dumbass is accidentally shot to death playing some exotic Dirty Harry Sex Game, I have no problem belittling them. But for some reason, I just can’t bring myself to make light of this particular situation. 
I guess it’s because I can see this lady as somebody’s Mother or as an inspiration to a class room full of girls at the private High School at which she taught. I don’t know, I can’t figure it out. I just can’t do it. 
Sure what the teacher did was as stoopid as hell. I mean, those train tracks are there for a reason and that reason ain’t for standing in the middle of them taking pictures of an oncoming freight train. 
Questions
  • Did she hear the train approaching her from the back? 
  • What was she thinking? 
  • Was she thinking like one of those drivers who try to zoom through the railroad crossing, red lights flashing, bells ding donging with wooden gates blocking the way to the other side of the crossing? “I can beat that fucking train! I know I can!” <—-Famous last words of a guy driving a Volkwagen flattened by a four bazillion ton locomotive doing 60 miles per hour while trying to outrun the train through the RR Crossing. 
  • Seriously. What the fuck? 
  • It boggles the mind. 

I must be gettin’ pussified in my Old Age.

Dumbass.
***Thanks to @stoo11 from Twitter & News10 in Sac Town***
             
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30 Women Riot Over Facebook Comment!

The internet is a powerful machine. Facebook is a powerful cog in this powerful machine.

Generally speaking, Facebook is a great way to, like I do, stay in touch with friends and family or to reconnect with people you haven’t seen or heard from in many moons (a little Injun Lingo there). The social network is also a great source of comedic, if felonious, material. I should know. I have an FB account and it gets weird enough there, but the stories I come across when doing research for stuff to write about on this blog are, to say the least, fucking outrageous.

Troublemaker

Social Media Stoopididity

Some examples of Facebook Dumbassery that we’ve covered on Dumbass News include the story of a guy who stole some Christmas stuff then posted the details of his theft on his Facebook page! Another time a Florida couple got into a disagreement over a Facebook comment that landed them both in the slammer! Then in a touching Moment of Muslim Social Media Madness, a raghead somewhere named his newborn daughter “Facebook”! Allah will not be pleased.

But wait! There’s more!

Facebook Comment Incites 30 Woman Riot!

A good cat fight between two Dumbasses of the female persuasion is a man’s dream, even if it’s over something posted on FB.

This brawl then must be a man’s wet dream. Not only does it involve females at war over some stoopid shit placed on a Facebook page, it evolves into a full out free for all with over thirty bitches erupting into a full scale armed conflict, the likes of which have not been seen since the Beatles appeared at Shea Stadium in NYC in the mid 60s.

From the HuffPuffSnuffIsEnuffPost

More than 30 women gathered for a large street fight in Sacramento on Sunday afternoon, reportedly over a Facebook post.

According to Sacramento Police Department Officer Michele Gigante, the fight reportedly began when a woman saw what she interpreted as a suggestive post on her husband’s Facebook account from another woman.
“The incident is still under investigation,” said Gigante to The Huffington Post. “But it looks like the women then met for a fight, along with their friends or other people involved.”
By the time police arrived, the fight had already dispersed. But witnesses reported seeing at least 30 women using baseball bats, bottles, rocks and other weapons.
According to CBS, one woman reportedly broke a candleholder from a nearby memorial and used it as a weapon. At least two people were hospitalized.
“Two people really sustained major injuries,” said Sacramento Police Sgt. Andrew Pettit to CBS. “Those two people were reportedly hit with bats and they went to the hospital requiring stitches.”
CBSLocal in NutSackTown reported that after the melee, some of the brawling bitches went into a nearby convenience store for cold drinks! A couple of foatys (Hood Rat talk meaning 40s), no doubt.
On the Other Hand
What if this Clash of the Titans and Louisville Sluggers had involved a man’s comment to a woman other than his wife? Mayhem, massive bloodshed and a gazebo-removing frenzy would have ensued with gazebos rolling like Homeless Marbles down the streets of NutSackramento. 
Then the women would have jumped in and the REAL horror would have begun.
I shudder at the thought. 
Dumbasses.

30 Women Riot Over Facebook Comment to Dumbass’s Husband!

The internet is a powerful machine. Facebook is a powerful cog in this powerful machine.

Generally speaking, Facebook is a great way to, like I do, stay in touch with friends and family or to reconnect with people you haven’t seen or heard from in many moons (a little Injun Lingo there). The social network is also a great source of comedic, if felonious, material. I should know. I have an FB account and it gets weird enough there, but the stories I come across when doing research for stuff to write about on this blog are, to say the least, fucking outrageous.

Social Media Stoopididity

Some examples of Facebook Dumbassery that we’ve covered on Dumbass News include the story of a guy who stole some Christmas stuff then posted the details of his theft on his Facebook page! Another time a Florida couple got into a disagreement over a Facebook comment that landed them both in the slammer! Then in a touching Moment of Muslim Social Media Madness, a raghead somewhere named his newborn daughter “Facebook”! Allah will not be pleased.

But wait! There’s more!

Facebook Comment Incites 30 Woman Riot!


A good cat fight between two Dumbasses of the female persuasion is a man’s dream, even if it’s over something posted on FB.

This brawl then must be a man’s wet dream. Not only does it involve females at war over some stoopid shit placed on a Facebook page, it evolves into a full out free for all with over thirty bitches erupting into a full scale armed conflict, the likes of which have not been seen since the Beatles appeared at Shea Stadium in NYC in the mid 60s.

From the HuffPuffSnuffIsEnuffPost

More than 30 women gathered for a large street fight in Sacramento on Sunday afternoon, reportedly over a Facebook post.

According to Sacramento Police Department Officer Michele Gigante, the fight reportedly began when a woman saw what she interpreted as a suggestive post on her husband’s Facebook account from another woman.
“The incident is still under investigation,” said Gigante to The Huffington Post. “But it looks like the women then met for a fight, along with their friends or other people involved.”
By the time police arrived, the fight had already dispersed. But witnesses reported seeing at least 30 women using baseball bats, bottles, rocks and other weapons.
According to CBS, one woman reportedly broke a candleholder from a nearby memorial and used it as a weapon. At least two people were hospitalized.
“Two people really sustained major injuries,” said Sacramento Police Sgt. Andrew Pettit to CBS. “Those two people were reportedly hit with bats and they went to the hospital requiring stitches.”
CBSLocal in NutSackTown reported that after the melee, some of the brawling bitches went into a nearby convenience store for cold drinks! A couple of foatys (Hood Rat talk meaning 40s), no doubt.
On the Other Hand
What if this Clash of the Titans and Louisville Sluggers had involved a man’s comment to a woman other than his wife? Mayhem, massive bloodshed and a gazebo-removing frenzy would have ensued with gazebos rolling like Homeless Marbles down the streets of NutSackramento. 
Then the women would have jumped in and the REAL horror would have begun.
I shudder at the thought. 
Dumbasses.

False Teeth Foil Felon!

When a crime is committed, there are a number of ways to link a particular suspect to it. Fingerprints and DNA immediately come to mind. Thanks to a dumbass in Sacramento, California, there is now a brand new way to place a suspect at the scene of the crime – false teeth. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the latest tool in the forensic arsenal of police forces all over the country is now dentures. Let me splain.

A guy named James Brown (not the dead black guy, this JB is a live stupid shit white guy) stole a car and while tooling around in said stolen car crashed into two other automobiles. And some fences. And landscaping. Our man James fled the scene on foot bloodied and injured according to witnesses. That’s a dumbass move in and of itself. The cops IDed James as the culprit because of something he left at the crash site – his false teeth! I’m no authority on dentures, but I assume that they are somewhat mouth-specific. Unique like a fingerprint, I guess. James lost his choppers when the airbag in the car he swiped deployed upon impact with one of the other cars he crashed into. The dumbass. To top it off, James has one of the best mugshots ever!

Member of the Ugly White guy Dumbass Hall of Shame

It should come as no surprise that James Brown the Dumbass White Guy is no stranger to law enforcement. At the time of his arrest in Sacramento, he was wanted in Washington, D.C. on an escape from jail charge. Evidently James has a history of escaping from the custody of the police. I am gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that during his previous escapes from the law, James never once left his dentures behind. I’m just sayin’. He did this time, however, and the cops put the bite on him. Dumbass.

The People of California Win, Dumbass Judge Loses

Score One for Justice

You might want to be seated when you read what I am about to write. It’s something I thought I’d never, ever put out there to remain in the ether forever and ever, amen. Let me take a deep breath…OK, here goes…I actually agree with a ruling by a California court! I waited a couple of minutes to type this sentence while you regained consciousness. There. I said it. Pigs will now fly and Barack Obama will give up golf to concentrate on that pesky Presidency thing. Well, at least pigs will fly. But I digress.

A parent in Albany, California  sued the local school district for failing to meet state standards regarding Phys Ed. A judge, Your Honor the Dumbass, in Sacremento sided with the school district dumbasses saying, ” the state’s physical education rule was advisory and not a requirement,(even though the California Department Education said it was a requirement – ed.). In addition, the original ruling found that a private party, such as a parent, had no standing to enforce the law.” What the fuck???!!! A citizen of the state of California “had no standing to enforce the law”? Then who the hell does have standing to enforce the law? Some dumbass judge with the bully pulpit and an agenda maybe? Dumbass. All this time I thought that elected school board members and dumbass judges were in their positions to serve the public! I guess I’ve been wrong for that last 50 years.

The parent appealed the decision to the California Court of Appeals where they voted unanimously (3-0)  saying the parent does have the right to enforce the law in this case. When I saw that, I almost had The Big One. Not one. Not two. But three judges on the same panel agreed with a concerned parent over a dumbass judge without a clue. Fucking moron. It’s good to see that the appeals court had the good sense to actually, you know, enforce the law as it was written. The dipshit judge in Sacramento got smacked down like the weenie he is and it serves him right. Dumbass.

You can read the whole story here, if you want to, as I gave you the thumbnail version of the story. The bottom line is that, in this case, the people of California won and activist dumbass judges have been put on notice to enforce the law, not legislate the law from the bench.

The People of California – 1  Dumbass Judge – 0. bwahahahahahahaha