Category: Sexting

Vexing Texting and Sexting

Cell phones. Love ’em or hate ’em, they are here to stay. Sure they can ring at the most inopportune time when you forget to shut them off or set them for “vibrate’, but they are extremely useful gizmos in case of an emrgency or if your on the way home and the wife calls and asks you to stop by the local grocery store and pick up a loaf of bread. Cell phones can be extremely useful in solving crimes also. Just a couple of days ago we posted this story about a dumbass burglar whose cell phone lead to his eventual arrest. Even the good guys get busted via evidence on their cell phones. “Good guys” like this former District Attorney that was “sexting” a woman who was the victim of a sexual assault and he was prosecuting the case. That’s a big no-no. That’s why his title is now former D.A.

Texting is “the next big thing” and has been for a while. I really don’t get the whole texting craze is all about. I mean if you’ve got something to tell somebody why don’t you call them?! It’s a cell PHONE, for Pete’s sake! Dumbasses.

My whole rant above was about texting. There’s a website that lists texts submitted by readers and posts them on their web site, Texts from Last Night. The texts on the site are sometimes laugh out lous funny. many are made up, I’m sure, but they are still flat funny. Let me give you a Content Warning: Many of these texts are NSFW! Here’s a couple of examples from the front page.

Sample texts from Texts from Last Night :

I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.

Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

I am not making this shit up. These are actual texts from the commenters at Texts From Last Night. I am obligated to warn you again, that some of the stuff you’ll see at TFLN is NSFW and just plain old nasty. Go ahead and click on over and see that dumbasses abound in our great country. It’s a helluva deal. Dumbasses.

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D. A. Stands for DumbAss

Dumbass D.A.

I’m sure you are familiar with the term “sexting”. If not, sexting involves two (or more, if you’re a dumbass) people who send sexy text messages and/or steamy photos to each other via their cell phones. Hardly a day goes by that you don’t hear or read something about two (or more, if you’re a dumbass) people sexting each other and said sexting often end with either tragic or flat funny consequences. This story has both tragedy and comedy involving sexting! A dumbass two-fer! And all this dumbassery is courtesy of a one man. But wait there’s more! The man is a District Attorney! Just when you think this guy is dumbass enough, he takes his dumbassery to a level, the likes of which have never before been seen in all of Dumbassdom.

“So what?”, you ask. “Maybe the guy was getting his jollies by sexting his trophy wife and telling he what he’d like to do to her with a turkey baster, chocolate syrup and an egg beater.” I would answer that if the dumbass wants to make a chocolate omelet out of his old lady, then good for him. And maybe good for her. He could make and sell videos of it for all I care. Or do an infomercial that airs at 2AM on Skinemax. What consenting adults do in there spare time is none of my bidness. The keyword is the previous statement is consenting.

You see, the dumbass in our story was not sexting his culinary desires to his wife, but to a victim of domestic abuse in a case that he was prosecuting! I.Kid.You.Not. Among the the offending sexts was this peach, “Are u the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA…the riskier the better?” Risky, hell! Career suicide maybe, dumbass. It has since come to light that the dumbass in question, Ken Kratz, has exhibited this kind of behavior before! Kratz sent similar sexts to another domestic violence victim and in one of them offered to help her write her victim impact statement in exchange for doing the horizontal hula with him.

The expected public outcry ensued and so did Mr. Kratz’s resignation in which did the obligatory I’m sorry and apologize to my wife, kids, etc. He then did what any elected dumbass would do in order to garner sympathy make amends, he went into counseling. I agree that he should get counseling….in jail! Hey, Ken, if you want to experience “domestic violence” first hand, being a prison bitch to a lifer named Leon would be a step in the right direction. I’m sure that you could brush up on your banjo playing while the tune to Deliverance plays in your mind over and over and over for 10-15 years. Dumbass.

D.A. Is For Dumbass

D A is For Dumbass**

I’m sure you are familiar with the term “sexting”. If not, sexting involves two (or more, if you’re a dumbass) people who send sexy text messages and/or steamy photos to each other via their cell phones. Hardly a day goes by that you don’t hear or read something about two (or more, if you’re a dumbass) people sexting each other and said sexting often end with either tragic or flat funny consequences. This story has both tragedy and comedy involving sexting! A dumbass two-fer! And all this dumbassery is courtesy of a one man. But wait there’s more! The man is a District Attorney! Just when you think this guy is dumbass enough, he takes his dumbassery to a level, the likes of which have never before been seen in all of Dumbassdom.

“So what?”, you ask. “Maybe the guy was getting his jollies by sexting his trophy wife and telling he what he’d like to do to her with a turkey baster, chocolate syrup and an egg beater.” I would answer that if the dumbass wants to make a chocolate omelet out of his old lady, then good for him. And maybe good for her. He could make and sell videos of it for all I care. Or do an infomercial that airs at 2AM on Skinemax. What consenting adults do in there spare time is none of my bidness. The keyword is the previous statement is consenting.

You see, the dumbass in our story was not sexting his culinary desires to his wife, but to a victim of domestic abuse in a case that he was prosecuting! I.Kid.You.Not. Among the the offending sexts was this peach, “Are u the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA…the riskier the better?” Risky, hell! Career suicide maybe, dumbass. It has since come to light that the dumbass in question, Ken Kratz, has exhibited this kind of behavior before! Kratz sent similar sexts to another domestic violence victim and in one of them offered to help her write her victim impact statement in exchange for doing the horizontal hula with him.

The expected public outcry ensued and so did Mr. Kratz’s resignation in which did the obligatory I’m sorry and apologize to my wife, kids, etc. He then did what any elected dumbass would do in order to garner sympathy make amends, he went into counseling. I agree that he should get counseling….in jail! Hey, Ken, if you want to experience “domestic violence” first hand, being a prison bitch to a lifer named Leon would be a step in the right direction. I’m sure that you could brush up on your banjo playing while the tune to Deliverance plays in your mind over and over and over for 10-15 years. Dumbass.

**Photo from greenbaypressgazette.com**