|Dead Man’s Hole|
Best of Dumbass News!
The author, Neil Strauss, was visiting with The Dumbass Hole when they walked up to a chest of drawers and she opened one of the drawers and pulled out a cookie tin-looking thing with some white powder in it. What was in the tin? Speed? No. Cocaine? Nope. Dead Dumbass Husband’s Cremated Remains? Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! To be fair, maybe the Dumbass Hole was just going to share a respectful moment with Strauss and offer a glance of Cobain’s ashes and tell a tender story of the man she was married to. Bwahahahahaha! No! She mentioned that she would like to snort some of the remains like it was coke or something! I am not making this shit up. Evidently, she got the idea from Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones who admitted that he snorted some of his late father’s ashes. Well, hell, in that case let’s all snort the cremated remains of the family member of our choosing! And let me tell you, Courtney love could not have picked a better role model to follow than Keith Richards! He’s a drug-addled walking zombie and she’s not much better. In fairness to the Dumbass Hole, she and Strauss did not follow through on her idea, but she ended the conversation about it by saying, “I’d like to though”. Dear Sweet Jesus!
What in the Name of all that is Holy do these people smoke? Whatever it is, they need to 1) share it with all of us or 2) be institutionalized or 3) both 1 & 2. Maybe Ms. Love has changed her ways to become a better mom and citizen (I hope so) and this was just an isolated drug-induced idea. I’m willing to give he the benefit of the doubt this time, but that bitch is still batshit looney tunes. And a hole. She’s still a hole. And Kurt Cobain is still dead and in a cookie tin instead of up his dipshit wife’s nose….as far as we know. Dumbass.
(Hat tip to Heather the Wife and Aol News)
***Image from Stephen Lovekin, Getty Images)***
|You Big Dummy Nominee|
Heads up, Dumbasses! I have just completed the most difficult task I have faced as Head Dumbass of this here blog. It was a challenge so taxing, so overwhelming, so stoopid that it took me almost ten minutes to accomplish! What was this most back breaking of assignments? I spent nearly ten full minutes of hell just to come up with the nominees for the Dumbass of the Year Award! You read that right, you dumbass, you! Here come the Dummies!
The 2nd Annual Fred G. Sanford “You Big Dummy!”Awards will take place on Saturday, December 31, 2011! I can almost smell
the scent of cow manure the aroma of boredom anticipation in the air as the magic day approaches! The Dummies, as they affectionately called, are awarded to the Dumbasses in several categories of Dumbassery as shown throughout the year on these vary pages. And let me tell you, with over 300 dumbasses to choose from, this is a bunch of bullshit monumental undertaking. I vow to you fellow Dumbasses, not matter how daunting, no mater how treacherous, no matter how many quarters I have to flip to determine a winner, I shall tackle this challenge no matter the obstacles! Our first nominee for the coveted You Big Dummy Dumbass of the year award is….
The First Nominee
Our first potential recipient of this coveted award is Courtney Love. The former Mrs. Kurt Cobain. Coincidentally, the stoopid Hole (<—–bwahahahahaha, some of you will get the pun there), is till living off a dead guy’s name and his money, which is a perfect gig for Courtney because she is a no talent, drug abusin’, skinny ass bimbo whose home address is listed as “Rehab”. Hell, the bitch is nominated for the Big Dummy Award! How much lower can she fall? Baby, let me tell you, when you get nominated for Dummy by this blog, you have not only hit rock bottom, you have dug yourself a Hole (<—another funny, hahahaha) close enough to Hell to cook popcorn.
The Story that Got Courtney Love Here
This tale of romance knows no bounds, as told in this touching post.
Now that you read that and puked up your breakfast, you have an idea of what to expect during the Dummy nominating process. It ain’t purty, folks. It ain’t purty.