I would be remiss if I didn’t post some Dumbassery that happened, it pains me to say, during the recent Christmas holiday season. I know it’s difficult to believe, but some people do not adhere to behavior that society would expect of them during a Holy Time of Year. Or during an unholy time of year for that matter. Dumbasses will be dumbasses. Our next round of nominees for a Dummy Award are cases in points.
Our finalists in the Most Disgusting Example of the Christmas Spirit Exhibited by a Dumbass are:
Leon, Adopted Felon of “Dumbass News” – Leon is such an integral part of the Dumbass News Family, that it would be almost criminal on our part not to include him in the Dummies in some small way. We love Leon. Why, I even went door-to-door taking donations so the Dumbass Horde could send Leon a carton of New-potes for Christmas. I had to bribe a guard at the Texas Department of Corrections to allow Leon to get the smokes. It was easy, though. The guard’s a fat guy. A little gift card to the local Krispy Kreme took care of it.
Dumbass Steals Christmas Tree, Posts Details on Facebook – Evidently this waste of semen doesn’t realize that the cops read Facebook too. Enough said.
Pimpin’ Out Christmas – I get mad at the way some people treat Christmas more like “Bling Day” than an actual, you know, Holy Day! It was a pretty good rant.
And the winner of the Dummy for the Most Disgusting Example of the Christmas Spirit Exhibited by a Dumbass is….
The guy who stole the Christmas tree! Only a total loser, dickweed, asshole, piece of camel shit would steal during the Christmas Season. Then brag about it on Facebook! Please do not pro-create. Your spawn will further drain the gene pool.
One more thing, Eistein. God doesn’t forget.