Category: Spring Forward

Daylight Savings Time: The Shocking Truth!

Happy Good Friday!

I am taking the day off from blogging, but I came up with a post I wrote last year about this (Daylight Savings) time, so it’s still kinda topical. I hope you enjoy it. 

Adios,
Toby
Fearless Leader

Before we get into the meat of today’s Dumbass post, I must pass on a (cue fanfare and Professional Radio Announcer Voice) Dumbass Public Service Announcement! I hope you Dumbasses in the United States remembered to “spring forward” by setting your clocks and watches forward an hour for Daylight Savings Time. 48 1/2 states observe DST. Parts of Indiana and all of Arizona do not take place in this annual event (unless things have recently changed), making it much harder for the dumbasses of those states to figure out when their favorite reality show comes on TV. But, hey, that’s part of being a Dumbass. DST runs into November which means Americans have to endure one less hour of the Obama presidency. But that’s a subject for another day. I bring it only to give hope to all US citizens and illegal aliens that the end of the Great Experiment in Socialism in our beloved Republic is nigh.

WTF is DST?

I ain’t sure. I just know that the sun comes up and goes down later than normal. During Plain Old Dumbass News, the sun comes up really early here in Maine. It looks like High Noon at 5 AM. It takes some time to get used to. With DST in effect, we have to wait til 6 AM! In addition, it doesn’t get completely dark until close to 10 PM! I must say though, that this allows me many hours of decimating the fish population of the Pine Tree State. Fish.Fear.Me.

Spring Forward

Time, or POT as we call it on

As far as Daylight Savings Times goes, it doesn’t really “save” any daylight. So why don’t they call it “The Sun Comes Up and Sets Later Time”. Dumbasses. I have neither time nor the inclination to go into the whole DST Thing in this post, so I’ll refer you to this info from Wikipedia.

The Shocking Truth!

According to some dumbass shit I found in a “Bing” search (Google is Evil; not that Microsoft is much better) Daylight Savings Times is all about money! Big Oil is the main culprit although there are other conspirators as well. Personally, I blame George W. Bush, Evil Oil Man and Bloodthirsty Hater of Minorities. But that’s just me. Read this bullshit and come to your own conclusions. This stuff sounds like it came straight from the Democrat National Committee. But, it tells the Shocking Truth! And that’s what Dumbass News is all about- the Shocking Truth! 


Back to Bed

All I know about DST is that I lost an hour’s sleep last night. This is not good. My wife has been sick with various forms of a cold, the flu and now bronchitis and a double ear infection. That means that for a few weeks that I have been Mom and Dad to two young children. What’s the big deal? I am 55 years old. My 9 year old is a great kid, except for when she gets sneaky about stuff. That’s to be expected though. She’s just a growing young lady finding her boundaries. But my 5 year, that’s another story. She’s like a West Texas Tornado destroying everything in her path. The kid is a one girl wrecking crew. Thankfully, there have been no deaths associated with this phenomenon.

Now that I know the Shocking Truth, I can sleep in peace. And expect the sun to rise at 5 AM instead of 4 AM. Oh the joy. Wait! The Texas Tornado wakes up about an hour before the sun comes up! I am a dead man.

But at least I know the Shocking Truth.

Dumbasses.

The Shocking Truth About Daylight Savings Time!

Spring Forward

Before we get into the meat of today’s Dumbass post, I must pass on a (cue fanfare and Professional Radio Announcer Voice) Dumbass Public Service Announcement! I hope you Dumbasses in the United States remembered to “spring forward” by setting your clocks and watches forward an hour for Daylight Savings Time. 48 1/2 states observe DST. Parts of Indiana and all of Arizona do not take place in this annual event (unless things have recently changed), making it much harder for the dumbasses of those states to figure out when their favorite reality show comes on TV. But, hey, that’s part of being a dumbass.DST runs into November which means Americans have to endure one less hour of the Obama presidency. But that’s a subject for another day. I bring it only to give hope to all US citizens and illegal aliens that the end of the Great Experiment in Socialism in our beloved Republic is nigh.

WTF is DST?

I ain’t sure. I just know that the sun comes up and goes down later than normal. During Plain Old Time, or POT as we call it on Dumbass News, the sun comes up really early here in Maine. It looks like High Noon at 5 AM. It take some time to get used to. With DST in effect, we have to wait til 6 AM! In addition, it doesn’t get completely dark until close to 10 PM! I must say though, that this allows me many hours of decimating the fish population of the Pine Tree State. Fish.Fear.Me.

As far as Daylight Savings Times goes, it doesn’t really “save” any daylight. So why don’t they call it “The Sun Comes Up and Sets Later Time”. Dumbasses. I have neither time nor the inclination to go into the whole DST Thing in this post, so I’ll refer you to this info from Wikipedia.

The Shocking Truth!

According to some dumbass shit I found in a “Bing” search (Google is Evil, not that Microsoft is much better) Daylight Savings Times is all about money! Big Oil is the main culprit although there are other conspirators as well. Personally, I blame George W. Bush, Evil Oil Man and Bloodthirsty Hater of Minorities. But that’s just me. Read this bullshit and come to your own conclusions. This stuff sounds like it came straight from the Democrat National Committee. But, it tells the Shocking Truth! And that’s what Dumbass News is all about- the Shocking Truth! 


Back to Bed

All I know about DST is that I lost an hour’s sleep last night. This is not good. My wife has been sick with various forms of a cold, the flu and now bronchitis and a double ear infection. That means that for a few weeks that I have been Mom and Dad to two young children. What’s the big deal? I am 55 years old. My 9 year old is a great kid, except for when she gets sneaky about stuff. That’s to be expected though. She’s just a growing young lady finding her her boundaries. But my 5 year, that’s another story. She’s like a West Texas Tornado destroying everything in her path. The kid is a one girl wrecking crew. Thankfully, there have been no deaths associated with this phenomenon.

Now that I know the Shocking Truth, I can sleep in peace. And expect the sun to rise at 5 AM instead of 4 AM. Oh the joy. Wait! The Texas Tornado wakes up about an hour before the sun comes up! I am a dead man.

But at least I know the Shocking Truth.

Dumbasses.