There are some things that men just don’t say to women, regardless of what reality is. The one that leaps to mind is, “That dress makes your ass look like two pigs in a tow sack fightin’ to get out.” Bad form, Old Boy. Never tell a woman her ass looks like “two pigs in a tow sack”. That’s just plain dumbass. A new addition to the “Things a Man Doesn’t Tell a Woman the Truth About List” is that her feet are, shall we say, less than aromatic, especially if she has been partaking of the demon rum. Case in point: A 19 year old male dumbass, whose name was not mentioned in this article, is expected to recover from a stab wound to the back inflicted by Dallas Amber Smith, soon to be convicted felon dumbass.
Here’s the deal: The young male dumbass and Dallas Amber Smith were hanging out with some friends and drinking. Our girl Dallas was challenged by another drunk minor to do a back flip. Dallas removed her shoes and was psyching herself up to do a backflip, which if unsuccessful would have resulted in the loss of a few teeth upon her face impacting the ground, great embarrassment and a spot on Dumbass News. Dallas Amber Smith never attempted the backflip. Why? The previously-mentioned 19 year old male dumbass told her that her feet stank and as you may have deduced by now, Dallas took offense to it. Then she got mad. The facts of the story are a bit hazy at this point, but we do know that the police were called. What is not hazy is the fact that Dallas Amber Smith hated being told that her feet stink so much that she buried a steak knife several inches into the 19 year old male dumbass’ back! Now Dallas has been charged with second degree assault with a deadly weapon. And the 19 year old male is recovering from his injuries which include a collapsed lung and a severe case of The Dumbass.