Category: Tequila

Abducted by a UFO? Hagar Cabo’ed When He Should Have Wabo’ed

Likkered Up

Best of Dumbass News

Sammy Hagar has been in the Cabo Wabo one time too much. The venerable Red Rocker has officially landed on the Planet of the Misfit Dumbasses.

Let me splain.

In a recent interview with MTV about his new book, Red. My Uncensored Life in Rock, Hagar tells of how he was once wait. for. it. abducted by aliens! Seriously.Tequila will do that shit to you. When asked by the MTV interviewer if he’d ever been abducted by extra terrestrials, Hagar replied I think I have. … Remember the story in the book, where I have a dream about being contacted by aliens in the foothills above Fontana?

Yeah, yeah, I’ve got the page right here. “I saw a ship and two creatures inside of this ship… And they were connected to me, tapped into my mind through some kind of mysterious wireless connection.” You’re telling me that wasn’t a dream?

That’s right. It was real. [Aliens] were plugged into me. It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. There weren’t even wireless telephones. Looking back now, it was like, “F—, they downloaded something into me!” Or they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment. ‘See what this guy knows.’

Sammy, the only thing that’s been “downloaded” is that rotgut you call tequila. Well, that and maybe some heavy duty pharmaceuticals. It appears that Hagar isn’t the only one stoned out of his noggin. Some people believe that Hagar’s hit Why Can’t This Be Love?” is an ode to alien love. I can see right now people all over the world who read this blog heading over to YouTube to find that song. As for me, I’ll never listen to it the same way again, that is if I ever listen to it again. Alien love indeed. Dipshits.

Don’t get me wrong. I like Sammy Hagar as a musician, but you gotta admit, the fucker is an order of fries short of a Happy Meal. I guess his Cabo has been Wabo’ed one too many times.



Dumbass Songs, Videos & a Touching Tribute to the End of the World!

The Winner

                              Drop Kick Me Jesus

                                      Tequila Sheila

Finger On the Button (lyrics)
by Bobby Bare

I have appointed me the captain of my destinyAnd proclaimed myself the pilot of my soulBut my mind remains uneasy cause the rest of meDepends on someone I don’t even knowMay the man who has his finger on the button have a lovely day todayHope nothing hangs him up or ticks him off or bums him out in any wayLord help him keep his cool cause he could pull the final curtain on my playMay the man who has his finger on the button have a lovely day today[ dobro ]I can recall when only God could start the world anewHe who left his babies wasted on the shoreBut now that man could have the last word if he wanted to[ From: ]God ain’t such a bad dude anymoreMay the man who has his finger on the button have a lovely night tonightHope he’s got himself a honey who knows what to do and I hope she does it rightAnd in my heart I know you won’t go bananas and again he mightMay the man who has his finger on the button have a lovely night tonightMay the man who has his finger…Send him over anything he wants give him a sixpack of beerGive him my old lady my girl friend
Have a Lovely Day.