Category: Traffic Cams

Target Practice and Traffic Light Cameras! Dead People Beware!

My job in keeping this blog up and running is just a matter of me getting off my ass and writing something every day. That’s the hard part. The easy part is, as I have mentioned a million times, finding a dumbass to write about. And as Luck would have it, this Great Experiment in Democracy with its 310 million plus residents provides an endless supply of dumbass material. three of the most common themes are drugs (namely pot), tattoos and dead people.

Dead people tend to make the headlines quite often actually. I have written several stories about the dumbassery that goes along with being dead, not that it’s the dead guy’s fault. For some Dead People Dumbassery, you can check this post about the dearly departed receiving Social Security benefits and other taxpayer-funded subsidies. On a related note, this guy was getting his monthly gubmint check like clockwork. I am sure he would appreciate that except for the fact that he’s dead! And, lo and behold, today death again leads us to more dumbassery from the people put in charge of the department of Public Dumbassery and Stoopid Shit. I know that’s going around the coffee cup to find the handle but it’s worth the wait for today’s Dumbassery From the Grave!! 

High Tech Target Practice

Best of Dumbass News

In Miami Gardens, Florida (Florida!!!), the city uses traffic light cameras to catch those hardened criminals who run red lights! As you know I am against violence unless it is totally necessary to the plot. Plot meet violence. Hence, I shall refer to traffic light cameras as “target practice”. I absolutely do not endorse or encourage any dumbasses to sight in his .22 rifle on the local “target practice” in his town, but I live in New England and I can not report what I don’t witness. I’m just sayin’. Back to Miami Gardens and the “target practice-using communists who run the place…Recently,  “target practice” caught a car breaking a traffic law at a local traffic intersection. :::SNAP::: The traffic light cam “target practice” did its “job” by catching this vicious resident violating City Law! Score one for the Commies. Almost. The car featured in the photo was the car of a dead woman! The decedent’s family had, already turned in the tags to her car and done all the Commie Bullshit a family’s gotta do after a loved one dies. But the “target practice” doesn’t lie! Look! There’s the image of the car and it’s driver right there! The one minor flaw in the photographic evidence of wrong doing is that the, once again, the lady who owned the car is graveyard dead. Has been for months. So now the City and the company who runs the “target practice” program in Miami Gardens (American Traffic Solutions, Inc.) are back tracking like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers doing the tango. Same old shit. “We’re sorry…”, “we’ll take care off it for you…”…the usual crap.

Here’s my take: Take down these fucking electronic invaders of my space and privacy and shove them up your collective ass, Miami Gardens! As far as American Traffic Solutions, inc., the program overseers, what I have in mind for them is against the law in Florida, so I’ll refrain from comment o that except to say that it involves a ribeye steak rub on the body, alligators and other such fun, froth and frivolity. It is my firm belief that until these “target practices” are removed from traffic lights in Miami Gardens (bwahahahaha, I kill myself. Like that will ever happen!). Or until they somehow malfunction and are beyond repair and cost prohibitive to replace. Two words: target practice. I hope you know that I am just teasing about that part.

Kind of.

Dumbasses.

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More Dead People Dumbassery!

Big Brother

My job in keeping this blog up and running is just a matter of me getting off my ass and writing something every day. That’s the hard part. The easy part is, as I have mentioned a million times, finding a dumbass to write about. and as Luck would have it, this great experiment in Democracy with its 310 million plus residents provides an endless supply of dumbass material. three of the most common themes are drugs (namely pot), tattoos and dead people.

Dead people tend to make the headlines quite often actually. I have written several stories about the dumbassery that goes along with being dead, not that it’s the dead guy’s fault. For some Dead People Dumbassery, you can check this post about the dearly departed receiving Social Security benefits and other taxpayer-funded subsidies. On a related note, this guy was getting his monthly gubmint check like clockwork. I am sure he would appreciate that except for the fact that he’s dead! And, lo and behold, today death again leads us to more dumbassery from the people put in charge of the department of Public Dumbassery and Stoopid Shit. I know that’s going around the coffee cup to find the handle but it’s worth the wait for today’s Dumbassery From the Grave!! 

In Miami Gardens, Florida (Florida!!!), the city uses traffic light cameras to catch those hardened criminals who run red lights! As you know I am against violence unless it is totally necessary to the plot. Plot meet violence. Hence, I shall refer to traffic light cameras as “target practice”. I absolutely do not endorse or encourage any dumbasses to sight in his .22 rifle on the local “target practice” in his town, but I live in New England and I can not report what I don’t witness. I’m just sayin’. Back to Miami Gardens and the “target practice-using communists who run the place…Recently,  “target practice” caught a car breaking a traffic law at a local traffic intersection. :::SNAP::: The traffic light cam “target practice” did its “job” by catching this vicious resident violating City Law! Score one for the Commies. Almost. The car featured in the photo was the car of a dead woman! The decedent’s family had already turned in the tags to her car and done all the Commie Bullshit a family’s gotta do after a loved one dies. But the “target practice” doesn’t lie! Look! There’s the image of the car and it’s driver right there! The one minor flaw in the photographic evidence of wrong doing is that the, once again, the lady who owned the car is graveyard dead. Has been for months. So now the City and the company who runs the “target practice” program in Miami Gardens (American Traffic Solutions, Inc.) are back tracking like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers doing the tango. Same old shit. “We’re sorry…”, “we’ll take care off it for you…”…the usual crap.

Here’s my take: Take down these fucking electronic invaders of my space and privacy and shove them up your collective ass, Miami Gardens! As far as American Traffic Solutions, inc., the program overseers, what I have in mind for them is against the law in Florida, so I’ll refrain from comment o that except to say that it involves a ribeye steak rub on the body, alligators and other such fun, froth and frivolity. It is my firm belief that until these “target practices” are removed from traffic lights in Miami Gardens (bwahahahaha, I kill myself. Like that will ever happen!). Or until they somehow malfunction and are beyond repair and cost prohibitive to replace. Two words: target practice. I hope you know that I am just teasing about that part.

Kind of.

Dumbasses.

Target Practice and Traffic Light Cameras! Dead People Beware!

High Tech Target Practice

My job in keeping this blog up and running is just a matter of me getting off my ass and writing something every day. That’s the hard part. The easy part is, as I have mentioned a million times, finding a dumbass to write about. and as Luck would have it, this great experiment in Democracy with its 310 million plus residents provides an endless supply of dumbass material. three of the most common themes are drugs (namely pot), tattoos and dead people.

Dead people tend to make the headlines quite often actually. I have written several stories about the dumbassery that goes along with being dead, not that it’s the dead guy’s fault. For some Dead People Dumbassery, you can check this post about the dearly departed receiving Social Security benefits and other taxpayer-funded subsidies. On a related note, this guy was getting his monthly gubmint check like clockwork. I am sure he would appreciate that except for the fact that he’s dead! And, lo and behold, today death again leads us to more dumbassery from the people put in charge of the department of Public Dumbassery and Stoopid Shit. I know that’s going around the coffee cup to find the handle but it’s worth the wait for today’s Dumbassery From the Grave!! 

In Miami Gardens, Florida (Florida!!!), the city uses traffic light cameras to catch those hardened criminals who run red lights! As you know I am against violence unless it is totally necessary to the plot. Plot meet violence. Hence, I shall refer to traffic light cameras as “target practice”. I absolutely do not endorse or encourage any dumbasses to sight in his .22 rifle on the local “target practice” in his town, but I live in New England and I can not report what I don’t witness. I’m just sayin’. Back to Miami Gardens and the “target practice-using communists who run the place…Recently,  “target practice” caught a car breaking a traffic law at a local traffic intersection. :::SNAP::: The traffic light cam “target practice” did its “job” by catching this vicious resident violating City Law! Score one for the Commies. Almost. The car featured in the photo was the car of a dead woman! The decedent’s family had, already turned in the tags to her car and done all the Commie Bullshit a family’s gotta do after a loved one dies. But the “target practice” doesn’t lie! Look! There’s the image of the car and it’s driver right there! The one minor flaw in the photographic evidence of wrong doing is that the, once again, the lady who owned the car is graveyard dead. Has been for months. So now the City and the company who runs the “target practice” program in Miami Gardens (American Traffic Solutions, Inc.) are back tracking like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers doing the tango. Same old shit. “We’re sorry…”, “we’ll take care off it for you…”…the usual crap.

Here’s my take: Take down these fucking electronic invaders of my space and privacy and shove them up your collective ass, Miami Gardens! As far as American Traffic Solutions, inc., the program overseers, what I have in mind for them is against the law in Florida, so I’ll refrain from comment o that except to say that it involves a ribeye steak rub on the body, alligators and other such fun, froth and frivolity. It is my firm belief that until these “target practices” are removed from traffic lights in Miami Gardens (bwahahahaha, I kill myself. Like that will ever happen!). Or until they somehow malfunction and are beyond repair and cost prohibitive to replace. Two words: target practice. I hope you know that I am just teasing about that part.

Kind of.

Dumbasses.

Pay Those Traffic Cam Fines or Else! Or Nothing.

Big Brother at the Traffic Light

I am a firm believer, immoveable actually, that if you give up up even the tiniest piece of your God-given Liberty for Justice, then you have relinquished something that will never come back to you and you deserve neither Liberty nor Justice. And one is a dumbass to believe otherwise.That’s paraphrasing Thomas Jefferson, perhaps the most brilliant of the Founding Fathers. And in my mind, red light cameras put up in cities all over this country, including here in Augusta, Maine, violate that very premise. We could engage in a long argument from boths sides this idea, but that is not the reason for this post. The purpose of this post is the dumbassery of government trying to control even the most minute aspects of our lives…and engaging in Epic Fail. See: Obama, Barack. But, I repeat myself.

For many years the city of LA has had red light cameras mounted on trffic signals all over the city and have collect untold millions of Angelenos’ hard earned dollars in traffic fines as a result of drivers being caught in camera committing various and sundry traffic offenses. There’s just one teensy weensy problem here. Read this closely: the City of Los Angeles has no legal standing to enforce the payment of fines associated with traffic cams as the sole evidence of any alleged wrongdoing while driving. Read that again. I’ll wait for you. To add insult to injury to the tens of thousands of people who have already paid those fines, the City itself admitted last week that the traffic cam fines were unenforceable and VOLUNTARY!  What. The. Fuck? I have a sneaky feeling that there are more than a few pissed off residents of LA. A voluntary fine for God’s sake!

This “voluntary fine” comes from the same bunch of Liberal asswipes that have taxed Calee-forn-ee-yans and the state of Calee-forn-ee-ya into near insolvency. Is it any wonder that sensible people are fleeing Calee-forn-ee-ya in droves? Such a beautiful place populated by enough dumbasses to keep electing and re-electing the dipshits that have put them in a position of being taxed into oblivion or move to another location with a less repressive State Gubmint. I feel for you, Calee-forn-ee-yans…almost.

Dumbasses.