Category: US Constitution

Wear a Crucifix? You Are a Gangsta!

Gangstas
Best of Dumbass News

OK, so now I am pissed. Again.

I have fucking had it with our nation’s Public Schools. Not all of them, mind you, just many of them. Included in the “many” category is the Anoka-Hennepin School District in Minnesota. AHSD, it is your turn to face the Wrath of the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde. You. Have. Gone. Too. Far.

Prepare to be chewed up and spit out, ya bunch of Liberal Pussy Dumbasses.

It’s the least I can do.

Grandma, Cancer & the Rosary

There is a 15 year old young man who is a student at Coon Rapids High School in the Anoka-Hennepin School District. His name is Jake Balthazor. Jake’s grandma recently underwent breast cancer surgery. Jake loves Granny and as a show of solidarity with her in her fight against this horrific disease, Jake started wearing a Rosary to school. he does so because, in his words, “I feel safe, like she’s right here with me.”

Personally, I think this is a very touching gesture on Jake’s behalf. But the nimrods in the administartion at Coon Rapids High see things differently.

They told Jake that he can’t wear the Rosary to school. These Dumbasses said that Jake had to remove the Rosary or tuck it inside his shirt. You wanna know why?

Because, according to the admins at Coon Rapids High School ( I am not making this up), some Godless young criminal bastards have coopted the Rosary (not Jake’s Rosary specifically, but Rosaries in general) as a gang symbol!

What a Crock

I am going to pull a large section of the article I found this story in and post it here.

The excerpt from the Star Tribune in Minneapolis-St. Paul:

Balthazor, who said he doesn’t belong to a gang, had worn the beads in school uneventfully until Tuesday. He said he hadn’t known they were banned. School officials said they hadn’t known about his grandmother until learning about her in news reports.

Balthazor and his family say they feel singled out, that others have worn rosary beads without incident. District spokeswoman Mary Olson said that knowing about Balthazor’s grandmother might have changed how officials thought about things but probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome.

Sometimes, when students wear a gang symbol, she said, “someone from the opposing gang may attack them or may do something that would start a fight or something that would be a disruption in the school. So it’s really a matter of safety.” (emphasis mine – ed.)

Coon Rapids Police Chief Brad Wise said the school was “in a tough spot. If something bad had happened to that boy and the school had knowledge that he was wearing something they knew could be viewed as a gang symbol, that would be a problem for the district. They were in a no-win situation in this, and they had to make a judgment call. There will be those who disagree with it.”

Has it happened?

Chuck Samuelson is one. The executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Minnesota said he wondered whether any kid in Minnesota had been attacked by Latino gangs for wearing a rosary. Or, he wondered, was the rule a reaction to something that happened once, somewhere else?
Wise said he doesn’t know of a problem with Latino gangs at Coon Rapids High School, but that a problem might not be obvious. Olson also said she was unaware of such a problem in the district.
Longtime Twin Cities youth worker Sarah Klouda has worked for a decade with police and youths who identify with gangs. She said that she only recently heard of rosaries being used by gangs, but that she’s never heard of anyone being harmed because of one.

Among Roman Catholics, rosaries are a symbol sacred to the Virgin Mary. The prayer beads are carried and prayed upon but never worn.

At Sagrado Corazon de Jesus, a Spanish-speaking Catholic congregation in Minneapolis, the Rev. Vicente Miranda said he was unaware of the rosaries as a gang symbol. He also said the things of God should not be used for evil.
People who are not Catholic, he added, would not have any reason to wear a rosary around their necks.   (Note: Jake is a Lutheran)

Balthazor and his mom, Lisa Thompson, maintain his right to wear the symbol.
“Jake is a kid with a big heart,” Thompson said. “When he believes in something, he will stand up for it, and I will back him 100 percent.”

On Thursday, his grandmother was in recovery after successful surgery, Thompson said.

Balthazor wore the rosary to school again Thursday, the last day of school, with no problems. At least one friend wore one, too. He may continue to wear it next year.
“They’re getting too carried away with all the gangs and their dress code and everything; it makes me want to move now,” he said. “A lot of my friends keep on telling me to stay strong with it and just do what you think is right.”

Aloha Snackbar

I was, until a few minutes ago, unaware that some Godless Little Bastards, mostly Hispanic, had adopted Rosaries as symbols of their gang membership. Apparently, that is the case. But, I don’t give a shit whether they do or not. That’s not the point. (My guess is that any young person of Hispanic heritage {remember that about 99.99999% of Hispanics are Catholic} who uses a Rosary as a gang-related symbol would get his ass kicked by Mamacita or Abuela quicker than you can say “guacamole”.)

These criminal little cocksuckers ain’t gonna take something that has been a part of my Faith for many hundreds of years away from me. Yes. I am Catholic, so I have a dog in this hunt. But so do you non-Catholics. What are you Protestants gonna do if some kid is told that he can’t wear the fish symbol on his lapel while at school? Or the Jews? What if a Star of David pin is deemed to be verboten? Oh, wait. They already are, I’m sure. My bad. But the Dumbasses in schools all over the country appease the Muslims, so it’s all good. God knows that nobody affiliated with the Religion of Peace would use a religious artifact as a symbol of violence or what have you. Just ask Al Qaeda. They’ll tell you so.

Fuming

I am so mad right now I could spit sparks.

It infuriates me that we have pushed God so far away from a public setting, like school. Hell, when I was a kid, we recited Psalm 100 every day before class started. We pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States of America every day as well. “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands…” indeed.

And don’t even utter the words “separation of Church and State”. Those words are NOWHERE to be found in the 1st Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. OK, find ’em for me:  

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”  

“In God We Trust”, anyone? That’s out National Motto.

I get this sneaky feeling that the Founding Fathers didn’t want this country to be free from religion, just not members of a State Sponsored religion. The overwhelming majority of our Founding Fathers were Christian and God played a major role in their daily lives. Three of the men we think of as the Founders were Catholics who signed and were framers of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence.

I will go out on a limb here and loudly proclaim that the Protestants among our Founding Fathers were not afraid of those wily Catholics using their Rosaries as gang symbols or symbols of subversion.

It’s just the Liberal Pussies who run our Public Schools that see things that way. Screw ’em. And don’t kiss ’em.

Dumbasses.

Advertisements

Have a Rosary? You Are a Gangsta!

OK, so now I am pissed. Again.

I have fucking had it with our nation’s Public Schools. Not all of them, mind you, just many of them. Included in the “many” category is the Anoka-Hennepin School District in Minnesota. AHSD, it is your turn to face the Wrath of the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde. You. Have. Gone. Too. Far.

Prepare to be chewed up and spit out, ya bunch of Liberal Pussy Dumbasses.

It’s the least I can do.

Grandma, Cancer & the Rosary

There is a 15 year old young man who is a student at Coon Rapids High School in the Anoka-Hennepin School District. His name is Jake Balthazor. Jake’s grandma recently underwent breast cancer surgery. Jake loves Granny and as a show of solidarity with her in her fight against this horrific disease, Jake started wearing a Rosary to school. he does so because, in his words, “I feel safe, like she’s right here with me.”

Personally, I think this is a very touching gesture on Jake’s behalf. But the nimrods in the administartion at Coon Rapids High see things differently.

They told Jake that he can’t wear the Rosary to school. These Dumbasses said that Jake had to remove the Rosary or tuck it inside his shirt. You wanna know why?

Gang Member & Her Swag

Because, according to the admins at Coon Rapids High School ( I am not making this up), some Godless young criminal bastards have coopted the Rosary (not Jake’s Rosary specifically, but Rosaries in general) as a gang symbol!

What a Crock

I am going to pull a large section of the article I found this story in and post it here.

The excerpt from the Star Tribune in Minneapolis-St. Paul:

Balthazor, who said he doesn’t belong to a gang, had worn the beads in school uneventfully until Tuesday. He said he hadn’t known they were banned. School officials said they hadn’t known about his grandmother until learning about her in news reports.

Balthazor and his family say they feel singled out, that others have worn rosary beads without incident. District spokeswoman Mary Olson said that knowing about Balthazor’s grandmother might have changed how officials thought about things but probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome.

Sometimes, when students wear a gang symbol, she said, “someone from the opposing gang may attack them or may do something that would start a fight or something that would be a disruption in the school. So it’s really a matter of safety.” (emphasis mine – ed.)

Coon Rapids Police Chief Brad Wise said the school was “in a tough spot. If something bad had happened to that boy and the school had knowledge that he was wearing something they knew could be viewed as a gang symbol, that would be a problem for the district. They were in a no-win situation in this, and they had to make a judgment call. There will be those who disagree with it.”

Has it happened?

Chuck Samuelson is one. The executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Minnesota said he wondered whether any kid in Minnesota had been attacked by Latino gangs for wearing a rosary. Or, he wondered, was the rule a reaction to something that happened once, somewhere else?
Wise said he doesn’t know of a problem with Latino gangs at Coon Rapids High School, but that a problem might not be obvious. Olson also said she was unaware of such a problem in the district.
Longtime Twin Cities youth worker Sarah Klouda has worked for a decade with police and youths who identify with gangs. She said that she only recently heard of rosaries being used by gangs, but that she’s never heard of anyone being harmed because of one.

Among Roman Catholics, rosaries are a symbol sacred to the Virgin Mary. The prayer beads are carried and prayed upon but never worn.

At Sagrado Corazon de Jesus, a Spanish-speaking Catholic congregation in Minneapolis, the Rev. Vicente Miranda said he was unaware of the rosaries as a gang symbol. He also said the things of God should not be used for evil.
People who are not Catholic, he added, would not have any reason to wear a rosary around their necks.   (Note: Jake is a Lutheran)

Balthazor and his mom, Lisa Thompson, maintain his right to wear the symbol.
“Jake is a kid with a big heart,” Thompson said. “When he believes in something, he will stand up for it, and I will back him 100 percent.”

On Thursday, his grandmother was in recovery after successful surgery, Thompson said.

Balthazor wore the rosary to school again Thursday, the last day of school, with no problems. At least one friend wore one, too. He may continue to wear it next year.
“They’re getting too carried away with all the gangs and their dress code and everything; it makes me want to move now,” he said. “A lot of my friends keep on telling me to stay strong with it and just do what you think is right.”

Aloha Snackbar

I was, until a few minutes ago, unaware that some Godless Little Bastards, mostly Hispanic, had adopted Rosaries as symbols of their gang membership. Apparently, that is the case. But, I don’t give a shit whether they do or not. That’s not the point. (My guess is that any young person of Hispanic heritage {remember that about 99.99999% of Hispanics are Catholic} who uses a Rosary as a gang-related symbol would get his ass kicked by Mamacita or Abuela quicker than you can say “guacamole”.)

These criminal little cocksuckers ain’t gonna take something that has been a part of my Faith for many hundreds of years away from me. Yes. I am Catholic, so I have a dog in this hunt. But so do you non-Catholics. What are you Protestants gonna do if some kid is told that he can’t wear the fish symbol on his lapel while at school? Or the Jews? What if a Star of David pin is deemed to be verboten? Oh, wait. They already are, I’m sure. My bad. But the Dumbasses in schools all over the country appease the Muslims, so it’s all good. God knows that nobody affiliated with the Religion of Peace would use a religious artifact as a symbol of violence or what have you. Just ask Al Qaeda. They’ll tell you so.

Fuming

I am so mad right now I could spit sparks.

It infuriates me that we have pushed God so far away from a public setting, like school. Hell, when I was a kid, we recited Psalm 100 every day before class started. We pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States of America every day as well. “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands…” indeed.

And don’t even utter the words “separation of Church and State”. Those words are NOWHERE to be found in the 1st Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. OK, find ’em for me:  

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”  

“In God We Trust”, anyone? That’s out National Motto.

I get this sneaky feeling that the Founding Fathers didn’t want this country to be free from religion, just not members of a State Sponsored religion. The overwhelming majority of our Founding Fathers were Christian and God played a major role in their daily lives. Three of the men we think of as the Founders were Catholics who signed and were framers of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence.

I will go out on a limb here and loudly proclaim that the Protestants among our Founding Fathers were not afraid of those wily Catholics using their Rosaries as gang symbols or symbols of subversion.

It’s just the Liberal Pussies who run our Public Schools that see things that way. Screw ’em. And don’t kiss ’em.

Dumbasses.

Those Wacky Fwench Can Teach Dumbasses a Lesson

They Pledged Their Sacred Honor

For our newer readers I’d like to state right here, right now something that will reveal my bias regarding the story I am about to present to you. I am a very politically conservative individual. Now you know exactly where I stand on the following issue. And where I stand on the Fwench. I don’t like the Fwench. Put in layman’s terms, the Fwench are pussies. This isn’t a blanket statement about everyone of Fwench extract, just a generalization about the majority of the citizens of Fwance. I am basing this outlook on personal experience and opinions formed from news stories from the Fwench media as well as the information I have gathered from the American media. Appropriate mud hole stompin’ will follow. Be afraid. Be very afraid.That’s just how I roll.

The Fwench Show Their Pussifiedness Again

So what’s new about this headline? Nothing. That’s what. The Fwench are pussies, something I have known for many years. Now what on Earth have the Fwench done now to refuel my disdain for them? To be honest, nothing has actually happened, yet, but it is thisclose (intended spelling) to becoming reality.

I just got an email alert from a Fwench news organization that once again uncovers the pure, unadulterated contempt for their own citizens from the leaders of Fwance. The Fwench Gubmint has already imposed such neat, and by neat I mean fucked up, laws on their people (a mandated 35 work week and a shit load of vacation time for everybody in the late summer, just to name a couple) that surely one more won’t matter, will it?  Allow me to let you in on something the Fwench have no clue about. It’s called Freedom. Oh sure, those cultured up Frogs (being called “Frogs” really pours piss on their caviar) have no problem murdering the unborn and turning their heads as their so-called “leaders” live a life filled with moral depravity. These “leaders” also look at their constituents with nothing but derision for the very who elected them to the Fwench Parliament. (I’m gettin’ there, I’m gettin’ there). The Frog Parliament has chiseled away at the God-given rights of the Fwench people for many years, so much in fact, that I guessing that few Fwench citizens alive today can remember anything but being in an unfettered march to Socialism. They know nothing else! Dumbasses.

Ferme Le Bouche

That’s Fwench for “shut uppa you face!”. And I’ll be damned if that ain’t exactly what the Frog Gubmint is demanding (through legislation!) that all the peon Frogs (tadpoles?) do. The Fwench Senate passed a bill just a few hours ago that will make it a crime for any Fwench citizen to deny genocide. Let me un-ferme my bouche for you and splain. If a resident of Frogland denies the fact some horrific event like the Holocaust took place, it’s a long vacatio for them in the Bastille. To deny that the massacre of Armenians by Ottoman Turks took place in 1915 – 1916 could also land you in Le Slammer. I don’t know about you but this appears to me to be a little thing called “thought control”. But then again, I am a Dumbass. And a redneck to boot. What do I know about the Fwench? Maybe not much, but I do know that they are a nation of Socialist Pussies. But I digress.

So What?

If you have to ask that question, then you are a Dumbass. Or Fwench. What the hell do you mean, “so what?”?

OK, Frog breath, here’s your “so what” wrapped in a nice little turd sandwich so you can enjoy the taste of being Fwench. Can you not see that maybe, just maybe mind you, that our very own US Gubmint (thanks Liberals!) tried to do basically the same thing to American citizens? There was this little First Amendment issue with regard to the internet in a Congressional Bill called SOPA. I am not gonna enlighten you too much on SOPA/I am Having a Middle Age Moment & Can’t Remember the Other 4 Letters contained in the bill’s title, but trust me on this one. If you don’t trust me, fucking Google it. Do I have to do everything for you, Dumbass? 🙂

Bottom line on SOPA is that it would violate the 1st Amendment to the United States Constitution. Just ask the assholes that supported it until the American people realized what a pig in lipstick SOPA is. Once our Congressional dip shits saw that they were on the wrong side of the American people, they abandoned this bill like Dracula avoids high noon. Rats, meet sinking ship. This kind of bill is designed to do nothing less than censor what can and can’t be said on the internet and if that ain’t a violation of the 1st Amendment, then I am Brad Pitt. Arm Pitt, maybe. Brad? Not so much.

Number 1 for a Reason

There’s a reason that the provisions of the 1st Amendment are there and not, let’s say, the 6th Amendment. Freedom of speech, press, assembly etc. and freedom of religious choice without gubmint intervention or establishment, are exactly the main principles on which the United States were built upon. See: England, George, King. Another way to look at this crap is to think of the Ten Commandments. The 1st Commandment says “I am the Lord thy God.…”. I have a sneaky feeling that it’s Number 1 with a bullet because it’s the MOST SACRED and important of the Ten. I am fairly certain that the Almighty didn’t just throw ten good things together just to have ten good things together.

SOPA/WTFEver was yet another attempt by Liberals to define the Constitution as a “living breathing document”, which is another avenue to Socialism in the USA. The Founders of this country debated, debated again, then debated some more on the framework of the Constitution and they finally debated the document a little more before settling on the one we have today. They wrote what they meant and they meant what they wrote, no breathing allowed.

Around the Elbow to Get to the Arm

I may have taken the long way to get to this point, when I could have taken a shortcut, but I felt it necessary to do so. SOPA is precisely the type of bullshit explicitly forbidden by our Constitution.

If you are having a hard time trusting in what I have written, don’t believe me then. In fact, I urge you to seek further information. I’ll even give you a link where you can start your research. The Constitution of the United States. That’s a great place to start. FYI, there is also a link to the Declaration of Independence on the page. And the Bill of Rights, parts of which I so dazzlingly illuminated in the paragraphs above.

USA! USA! USA!

As the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde, it is my duty to point out and destroy all things that are a danger to this country. To obliterate any and all ideas contrary to the vision of our Founding Fathers and the Sacred Documents that bind us all together as Americans.

And let me tell you, folks, becoming a Socialist, pussified country like Fwance ain’t the way that we (and our forebears), as Americans, should go. It’s a path to doom and tyranny. Read a little history on all the -“isms”. You’ll change your way of thinking right quick, friend.

For over 235 years, we have done just fine as the United States of America.

May God continue to bless the Greatest Country in the History of Mankind – the United States of America.

As for the Fwench? One word.

Connardes. Translation: Dumbasses

Our Country is Being Crapped On and I am a Mad SOB

Don’t Fuck With Americans

This post is gonna hit home for many of you dumbasses. A new study has been released that says pornography is now collectible . I can see a bunch of you dumbasses haulin’ ass to that secret place where those movies and “other stuff” are stored.. “I just knew “Debbie Does Donkeys” would be worth something one day!”, you say. “Imagine what I could get for one of these “personal satisfaction devices”. “They were only used for one scene and the donkey didn’t seem to mind”. You are sick bastards.

There are times when what I want to say is insignificant.This is one of those times. Here’s a good portion of the article from UPI: “It’s definitely a new market, but it’s an evolving market,” said Naomi Wilzig, founder and president of the World Erotic Art Museum in Miami. People are realizing how important erotic art is to both own and display. People used to cast it aside as sordid, but are now realizing it’s important. There’s no doubt it’s escalating.”

Ted McIlvenna, president of The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco and curator of the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas, said that as pornography becomes more mainstream, people are becoming more comfortable with owning part of its history, CNBC reported Saturday. “

McIlvenna said many collectors are seeking items from the past.

“A lot of the films people are rediscovering is happening because so much of the stuff they’re making now is fast and furious,” he said.

Well shit. No wonder this crap made the news. It’s from CNBC and the people who work there are a bunch liberal pussies. Those assholes will barely, if ever, mention the shit that the Occupy Wall Street dumbasses do (rape, drugs, public masturbation, shitting on police cars and more) but, dammit, they’ll jump all over some bullshit about porn like it was two kids trading baseball cards. What the hell is going on in this country? Oh, wait, I know. Liberals and their policies have taken God out of the classroom, off many public places where crosses are erected to honor victims of drunk driving or law enforcement officers who have been killed in the line of duty and don’t even bring up Christmas.

I kind of veered off the path I wanted to take this post, but I am so mad I could spit sparks. The assault is on against everything this country is about and I for one ain’t gonna take this shit anymore. I won’t go into great detail, but let me assure you the powder is dry and I am a good shot. Too harsh you say? Hell no it ain’t too harsh! The Constitution of the United States calls for the overthrow of the government when it strays from the original meaning of the Constitution and tramples the rights of the American people. Is this that time? I don’t know, but I can say with 100% certainty, when the tipping point gets here, the Alamo will look like a cat fight. Bank it.

The collection of leftists, Occupy Wall Streeters (but I repeat myself) and any other extremist group on the left or right that wants to run this country your convoluted way, go ahead, make our day and send your soul to Heaven because your ass is ours. Have a nice day. 🙂

Dumbasses.

Psycics, Midgets and Boobies, Oh My!

Your Guaranteed Right to be a Dumbass Lives Here

This week’s outstanding Dumbass News stories are among the weirdest we have ever seen on these pages. frakkin’ hilarious stuff. This is going to make the race for “Dumbass of the Year, 2011” is a tough one to call at this point, but I do have some ideas for the finalists for the award. It’s a good thing I do because as I look at the calendar it’s the middle of October already so the end of the year is really not that far off. I am thinking about running a series of polls to where you can have some input into the “Dumbass of the Year” award process. I am leaning towards a tournament type series of polls where your votes will determine who moves on in the selection process. I just don’t really know yet. If you have any ideas I’d love to hear from you. This is your blog, I am just the dipshit who’s dumbass enough to actually put his name on it. Leave a comment with your ideas in the comment section or shoot me an email at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com. Now onto The Dumbass News Week in Review! 

  • Dumbass Psychic – Not only does this dumb bitch expose herself as a charlatan, fraud, extortionist, she jumps way up the ladder in the “Dumbass of the Year” rankings. Sad and funny as hell at the same time.
  • What do Dwarf Tossing and the Constitution of the United States have in common? A lot more than you’d think. It takes a true genius of a dumbass like me to actually make sense of it all. read on and you’ll agree. I promise.
  • Door to Door Breast Exams – This story features one of the most ingenious dumbasses in the history of Dumbassery. You have got to read it to believe it. I didn’t make any of this stuff up. Pinky swear.

Remember to let me know if you have any ‘Dumbass of the Year” nominations or story ideas by emailing me at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com. To refresh your memory on your favorite dumbass, browse the blog archives and submit it to the email address <—–back there. If you are a newer reader the archives are a great place to catch up on some of weird news that happens every day somewhere in Dumbass-ville. See y’all soon!

Adios,
Toby
Head Dumbass