|In The Express Lane to Hell|
Does the name “Westboro Baptist-In-Name-Only Church” sound familiar? It should. That’s the group of dumbasses from Kansas that are the arbiters of all the things that God wants the World to be like. By golly, when they say God wants us to believe a certain way, then dammit, you’d better believe that way or you’re going to burn in hell! I have a feeling my Baptist brothers and sisters around the country will be surprised that they should follow the path of these dumbasses to please and glorify God. As a matter of fact, I bet this is news to the Almighty as well and I get a feeling that He ain’t exactly preparing these cretins a special corner of Heaven because of their actions. I mean think about it, people that carry signs that say “God Hates Fags” and “Pray for More Dead Soldiers” can’t be too high on the Heavenly Top 40 Charts. Protesting the funerals of dead US Military members is the other way these attention whores look to be noticed by every one else. That’s gotta sit real good with God, too.
There is, however, a shining city on the hill that has shown the dumbasses of Westboro Baptist-In-Name-Only Church the way they should be treated at every trouble-making stop they have planned all over the United States. One of my daily reads on the blogosphere, I Hate the Media, has the story of this small Mississippi town:
“Brandon, Mississippi will go down in history as the town where the Westboro Baptist Church met its match.
The lunatics showed up to protest at the funeral of local hero Staff Sgt Jason Rogers who was killed in Afghanistan, but left town without making a peep. They may have made a few moans and groans, but no peeps.”
I know absolutely nothing of Brandon, MS, but I wanna move there to be near the outstanding citizens of this great community. This is a MUST read! The way the folks in Brandon dealt with this situation deserves the highest praise. Read on at I Hate the Media to get the whole story. It’s perfect.
An example of how to deal with creeps like the WBINOC has been set for the rest of the United States. Now it is up to the people of all communities around the country to follow it. Shun these abominations to the Father and all that is Holy and deny them the attention they so maniacally crave. Treat them like the pig shit they are without having to say a word to them. I guess what I am trying to say here is Fuck them! And the demon they rode in on!
It’s your turn, America! Make these sons of whores and snakes as irrelevant as a mouse fart in a hurricane. They’ll get their comeuppance when they stand before God. Let Him sort ’em out.
|A Beautiful Soul|
Dumbass of the Day honors are normally reserved for individuals, with the notable exception of Liberals. Liberal could win the Dumbass of the Day Award purt near every day, but that wouldn’t be much fun. I am today, however, making an exception to the rule and naming a Group of people as the Dumbasses of the Day. You are familiar with these sub-humans. They are the members of the Westboro Baptist Church. The Head Dumbass of the WBC is the Reverend Fred Phelps. These cretins protest anything and everything that doesn’t fit perfectly with their view of things. They are probably most notorious for protesting at Fallen Soldiers’ funerals. Yeah, those assholes.
Well, the bottom feeders at WBC now have a new cause celebre. They are gonna all load up in the Satan Mobile and head out to Californy to protest at the funeral of Elizabeth Taylor! Why? Because Liz was a firend to the Gay Community and a prolific fundraiser for a cure for AIDS! Well, shit, let’s condemn Liz to Hell for such an outrage! Imagine that! trying to help someone who has a disease that eats away at their body like a termite chews on wood, relegating them to a slow, miserable, painful demise! The moral outrage! Good God. I don’t care what two consenting adult do behind closed doors as long as it consensual and doesn’t involve children. I am, however, against special rights for any given group. I don’t give a shit who they are. Here’s a quote from the article at popeater.com, “Her whoredoms enabled filthy f**s! She now answers for her gr8 sin in hell!” she tweeted to Perez Hilton. To ABC’s Jake Tapper, she wrote, “No peace for whore who taught proud sin! Too late for her to repent!” That beauty comes straight from Reverend Phelps’ daughter, Marge. Tolerant bunch aren’t they?
While it is within their Constitutional Rights to have these protests, this group at Westboro Baptist Church needs a good smackdown. I am not suggesting violence, I am suggesting Eternal Damnation. But, that’s God’s call, not mine, and I’ll leave it up to Him. However, a good old fashion Hell’s Angels counter protest would be nice. 🙂 I’m just sayin’. I am instructed by God to not judge a man’s soul, but instead to judge his actions. I can safely say then, that the Reverend Asswipe and his followers have no souls and are headed straight for the gnashing of teeth place. Dumbasses.
UPDATE: (5:32pm, EDT) A friend of mine in Texas noted that maybe I shouldn’t refer to members of this dumbass “church” Baptists. I agree 1000%. I should have thought about that earlier. For that, I apologize. These people are a CULT . From now on, if I do another story on them, that’s how they will be referred to. Better yet, my friend in Texas said that maybe I should just ignore them. That may be the best thing to do.