Category: Whores

McDonalds – No Insurance, Lousy Benefits Turn McD Wimmin into Hookers!

Just what do some Dumbasses have against McDonalds? I can’t figger it out myself. Mcd’s offers some of the best tasteless food in the world. Every once in a while I love to scarf down a Big Mac or Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Or both. My kids loves the nastiness that is a Happy Meal. They also love the lead paint covered cheap ass toys that come with the Happy meal. I don’t mean to get all mushy here, but I have been eating at McDonalds since their hamburgers cost something like 19 cents. I remember when the signs at Mickey D’s read “Over 2 Sold”! I ask these questions for a very good reasons, which I will go into in a just a minute.

Dumbass News has featured dumbass-inspired stories about McDonalds on more than one occasion. For example, here and here. It pains me to say it, but neither of these Dumbass stories has as serious implications as the one you are about to read.

McWhore

There’s a lady, and I use that term loosely, in Las Vegas who has filed a lawsuit against the fast food giant

You Want Me to Do What?

because, as she states in the suit, it is because of the minimum wage salary she was paid at McD’s that she became a prostitute! yes, fellow Dumbasses, I am sad to report that low pay and lack of a good benefits package at the Home of the Quarter Pounder, that has driven women like Shelley Lynn to become skanky sluts. Shame on you Ronald McDonald!

You see, Shelley once worked at a McDonalds owned at the time by her then-husband. As it turns out, there other would-be skanky sluts working there too. And it’s all because of the lousy pay and benefit packages at the Golden Arches. Being the visionary entrepreneur that he was, Shelley’s husband found a way to increase business at his restaurant. A good marketing campaign maybe? Kind of. He started pimping out his female employees! These women were listed on the store menu as the “Furry McTacos”. But I digress.

You wanna know why these whores felt it necessary to sell their McWares? If you guessed the lousy pay ans bennies from their employer, you would be right! These women were not making enough money to support themselves or their families, so they got a second job selling their “McHappy Meals”, if you know what I mean and I think you do. They are inspirations to young sluts everywhere. Did I mention that all this bullshit in Shelley’s lawsuit took place more than twenty years ago? Since then Shelley has been employed by brothels in the Las Vegas area screwing horny dumbasses for what I imagine would be very good money.

What?

Over twenty years ago! That must be some kind of mental duress! It’s also a Top Tier Dumbass Thing to Do. Shelley, we know that were peddling your McMuffin while you worked at McDonalds, now you sell it for thousands of times more money. Only the price has changed. You were twenty years ago and still are today, shit stain on the underwear of society. As for your now ex-husband, the best part of him ran down his mother’s leg.

Look. I know that what Shelley is doing now is perfectly legal in Nevada and I have no qualms about that. It’s the “I am still a victim” mindset that pisses me off. let me tell you, Shelley, if you were ashamed to sell your “woman hood” back then, then why continue to be a Godless Hooker all this time later? Do you have a bad coke habit? Owe the Mob money? Like to fuck a lot? Yeah, you are a “victim” OK. Stoopid cum funnel.

Once this suit goes in front of a judge, Comedy Gold should be at a Three Stooges Level of brilliance. If any of you in the Vegas area have any more on this story now or later, please email it to me at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com. If you do, I’ll make you the next Dumbass Emeritus, second line only to WTFWiFi founder  Alexandra Janelli, an Honor you’ll cherish for life.


Adios to Shelley

Shelley, keep on selling what you sell, because one day it will as rancid as the maggots on a five year old Big Mac. I was gonna get real graphic here but I decided that even a low life no morals, weenie sucking, skanky swamp donkey whore like Shelley deserves some form of respect. 🙂

But not a day in Court with this kind of shit.

Dumbass.

Advertisements

Low Pay, Lousy Benefits at McDonalds Turns Woman into McSlut

You Want Me to Do What?

Just what do some Dumbasses have against McDonalds? I can’t figger it out myself. Mcd’s offers some of the best tasteless food in the world. Every once in a while I love to scarf down a Big Mac or Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Or both. My kids loves the nastiness that is a Happy Meal. They also love the lead paint covered cheap ass toys that come with the Happy meal. I don’t mean to get all mushy here, but I have been eating at McDonalds since their hamburgers cost something like 19 cents. I remember when the signs at Mickey D’s read “Over 2 Sold”! I ask these questions for a very good reasons, which I will go into in a just a minute.

Dumbass News has featured dumbass-inspired stories about McDonalds on more than one occasion. For example, here and here. It pains me to say it, but neither of these Dumbass stories has as serious implications as the one you are about to read.

McWhore

There’s a lady, and I use that term loosely, in Las Vegas who has filed a lawsuit against the fast food giant because, as she states in the suit, it is because of the minimum wage salary she was paid at McD’s that she became a prostitute! yes, fellow Dumbasses, I am sad to report that low pay and lack of a good benefits package at the Home of the Quarter Pounder, that has driven women like Shelley Lynn to become skanky sluts. Shame on you Ronald McDonald!

You see, Shelley once worked at a McDonalds owned at the time by her then-husband. As it turns out, there other would-be skanky sluts working there too. And it’s all because of the lousy pay and benefit packages at the Golden Arches. Being the visionary entrepreneur that he was, Shelley’s husband found a way to increase business at his restaurant. A good marketing campaign maybe? Kind of. He started pimping out his female employees! These women were listed on the store menu as the “Furry McTacos”. But I digress.

You wanna know why these whores felt it necessary to sell their McWares? If you guessed the lousy pay ans bennies from their employer, you would be right! These women were not making enough money to support themselves or their families, so they got a second job selling their “McHappy Meals”, if you know what I mean and I think you do. They are inspirations to young sluts everywhere. Did I mention that all this bullshit in Shelley’s lawsuit took place more than twenty years ago? Since then Shelley has been employed by brothels in the Las Vegas area screwing horny dumbasses for what I imagine would be very good money.

What?

Over twenty years ago! That must be some kind of mental duress! It’s also a Top Tier Dumbass Thing to Do. Shelley, we know that were peddling your McMuffin while you worked at McDonalds, now you sell it for thousands of times more money. Only the price has changed. You were twenty years ago and still are today, shit stain on the underwear of society. As for your now ex-husband, the best part of him ran down his mother’s leg.

Look. I know that what Shelley is doing now is perfectly legal in Nevada and I have no qualms about that. It’s the “I am still a victim” mindset that pisses me off. let me tell you, Shelley, if you were ashamed to sell your “woman hood” back then, then why continue to be a Godless Hooker all this time later? Do you have a bad coke habit? Owe the Mob money? Like to fuck a lot? Yeah, you are a “victim” OK. Stoopid cum funnel.

Once this suit goes in front of a judge, Comedy Gold should be at a Three Stooges Level of brilliance. If any of you in the Vegas area have any more on this story now or later, please email it to me at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com. If you do, I’ll make you the next Dumbass Emeritus, second line only to WTFWiFi founder  Alexandra Janelli, an Honor you’ll cherish for life.


Adios to Shelley

Shelley, keep on selling what you sell, because one day it will as rancid as the maggots on a five year old Big Mac. I was gonna get real graphic here but I decided that even a low life no morals, weenie sucking, skanky swamp donkey whore like Shelley deserves some form of respect. 🙂

But not a day in Court with this kind of shit.

Dumbass.

Whore vs. Georgetown U.

Not at Georgetown

The subject of today’s post is a week or so old, but it still has legs with the State-run Media like CBS, NBC ABC, etc., so I thought it would present to me a great opportunity to trash a Godless Commie Whore. And so I shall.

Here’s What I Know

Some lady who likes to play “Hide the Weenie in My You-Know-What” recently testified before some dumbass Congressional committee espousing the idea that the US Gubmint, meaning you and me, should force businesses to cover wimmin’s birth control pills (or IUD, whatever) in their health insurance policies. This is a swell idea because such a law would involve gubmint intervention into the private lives of millions of wimmin. After all, the feds have a golden touch when dealing with everything they oversee, right? The previous two sentences are loaded with what we right wing Fearless Leaders call “sarcasm”. But, that’s exactly what this woman wants to happen. Why, you ask? Like my Right Wing Robot Master and Thought Controller Rush Limbaugh said, the bitch (my word, not Rush’s) is a slut. But that’s not the real problem.

The Real Problem

This whore is a college student. OK, so there are lots of college girls that are floozies, but that’s still not the problem. The woman in question, though, is a 30 year old college student at a Catholic university! So, this dumbass ho wants Georgetown U to, essentially, endorse her living her life as a cum dumpster by providing to her with no cost birth control pills. For those of you who may not know, artificial contraception is a BIG no-no according to Catholic Doctrine. This is the real problem. Needless to say, the Head Padre at GU was not amused. On top of this Cardinal (no pun intended) insult, Georgetown is a PRIVATE school! In many aspects of GU life, the university is bound by Catholic Law to do things a particular way. If The Slut wants them to deviate from Canon Law just so she can screw every man on campus and be provided her birth control device/medication to prevent the creation of a human life, she’s really screwed. And she won’t get kissed either.

The Way It Is

This whole argument isn’t really about some broad that wants to pork some schmoe every waking moment of her life, it’s about freedom. The freedom from the Federal Gubmint to force a private organization to kow tow to a policy that directly contradicts 2000 years of Church Law. It. Ain’t. Gonna. Happen. Therefore, if Ms. “I Spread My Legs Like Kids Spread Peanut Butter” wants to get laid and not get pregnant, she can do it on her own damn dime. Better yet, quit fucking and maybe go to Mass once in a while. It might do you good. See: Magdalene, Mary.

For clarity, I am a Roman Catholic.

The Slut is a Godless Commie Hooker.

And a Dumbass.

Survey: Sluts, I Mean Mistresses Get Better Christmas Gifts Than Wives

Forsaking all others….Except sluts

Naughty Words Alert!  The Internet is a wonderful thing, most of the time. With a few keystrokes, you can look up medical advice, get directions to just about anywhere, read brilliant commentary like you do on this very site (OK, not so much) and set up an extramarital rendezvous. I. Kid.You. Not. You can even find someone to cheat on your spouse with! I am not talking about finding someone in a chat room or party site, I am talking about a site whose sole purpose is specifically to line you up with a paramour! If you think I’m kidding, click this link. Notice their motto? “Life is short. Have an affair”. How about a motto like “You put your gazebos on the chopping block, we give your wife the ginsu knife?” I have a few sites where I find stoopid shit like this to put up on this blog, and as a professional Dumbass News researcher, I can assure you that websites like the one at the link above are not uncommon, sadly, and there’s always some dumbass looking to make a buck off the marital discord of some other dumbass. 

I point out the aforementioned site because I found an article that stated that mistresses of married men receive better Christmas presents than their wives! What the hell??!! These dumbass married fuckers buy their sluts girlfriends jewelry, lingerie and trips to the day spa. Those pesky women these assholes married for better or worse, sickness and health and all that, get perfume, bath and body products and the always-romantic gift card. This vital information comes from a survey conducted by the web site at the link above. All told, according to Whores R Us (I just made that part up), men spend twice as much money on their concubines than on their wives. From the article in question, the web site “says it has been keeping an eye on this aspect of holiday gift-buying for five years, says it got 143,717 responses this year, up from 28,994 in 2006.

And with the United States going through some tough economic times, the survey found men are showing financial restraint — spending 22 percent less on their wives compared with 2006, while putting a freeze on their extramarital spending.” Let me get this straight. Wives – the mother of the douchebag’s children, his partner-for-life gets a 22% cut in Christmas gift value and the gold digging hookers of these same men still get the usual pay-for-pussy rates. Sounds like the Liberals’ economic voodoo, pay the shiftless and punish the “producers”. But, I digress.

On that happy note, I hope Santa delivers ginsu knives to all the betrayed wives along with a “How To De-Gazebo a Philandering Asswipe” instruction manual and a nice bout with genital herpes to the sleazy bitches that screw those dickweeds. Fucking dumbasses.